You Can't Bring Me Down
by ideasfromthebraintoscreen
Summary: This is about Dougie Poynter before he made the band McFLY. It shows him dealing with his dad leaving, his relationship with his first serious girlfriend Louise and him getting into the band... enjoy! A bit of mild swearing but not much.
1. Coming Out Of My Cage

**You Can't Bring Me Down  
><strong>**Sadly I do not own McFLY :( I wish! There's a little bit swearing, just a bit of pre-warning for you! Anyway, here it is;**

**CHAPTER ONE** Coming Out Of My Cage

-DOUGIES POV-

MONDAY 23RD OF NOVEMBER 8:20AM

"DOUGIE! DOUGIE!"  
>I groan whilst rolling onto my front, digging my head far beneath my pillow.<br>"DOUGIE, GET UP!"  
>My bedroom door swings open, sunlight filling every corner of my boxed shaped room.<br>I poke my pounding head above the covers to find my sister, Jazzie, glaring down at me.  
>"Dougie, have you even seen the time?" she screeches, yanking the cover of me.<br>"Jazzie, gerrof!" I moan. I curl up into a ball, trying to find some heat.  
>"Fine, be late. Your future obviously isn't important to you but when the school phones mum telling her yet again you couldn't get your lazy arse up in<br>time, I sure as hell want to see how she'll decide on killing you!"  
>I slowly sit up, squinting at her.<br>"Where is mum?" I ask.  
>"How the hell am I supposed to know? Birthday shopping probably"<br>I rub my eyes and stretch my back.  
>"Whose birthday is it likes?"<br>Jazzie sighs heavily and looks at me in a pitiful way.  
>"Yours Dougie! Next week!"<br>My brain slowly starts up, the clogs starting to turn. I could swear if you're standing close enough you'd hear the clanking as thoughts start to circle my  
>brain.<br>"Aw, I think your right"  
>"I am right, you dimwit! Now I've made you breakfast but it's probably cold by now-" she pouts "- I need to get going, try and make it to first period, yeah? And Dougie, one last thing, stay out of trouble will you?"<br>I nod tiredly, and watch her walk away.  
>I roll out of bed and stumble into the shower.<br>The water scolds my back. I tip my head backwards, letting the water cascade over me.  
>I quickly dry of then pull my school uniform on. It's just a simple shirt and tie. Our school isn't the poshest, but when it comes to a pupil's behaviour they<br>can be quite uptight.  
>I smile as I walk into the kitchen and see a pile of pancakes on the counter. There's a post it lain next to it;<p>

_'Eat Up Bro!  
><em>_Microwave them if there too cold, toppings on the table!  
><em>_Love you smelly  
><em>_Jazzie xx'_

I give them a quick zap in the microwave before heading off to school.  
>On the way to school I pop into the local newsagents and buy a packet of chewing gum.<br>"Just my luck!" I mutter as I step out into the pouring rain.  
>I pull my hoodie over my head and run the last half a mile or so to school.<br>I walk in the main entrance of my high school, smiling at the warmth. My smile is soon wiped off.  
>"Dougie Poynter, here now!"<br>I spin around to see Mrs Hound, the head, marching towards me.  
>"It's quarter to ten! Are you aware that school starts at half past eight?" she barks, spit flying from her fat sausage lips.<br>"Yes miss" I reply dully.  
>"Then this next question should be easy enough to answer. Why on earth have you just got here now?"<br>I sigh, "Slept in miss"  
>Her eyes narrow, "You're the cause of most of my grey hairs Dougie! I've let you off too many times! Detention during lunch and after school for the rest<br>of the week!" she barks, "now get to class!"  
>I sulk of to English, greeted by the cheery face of Mr Sands.<br>If you were to try and explain to a deaf person what an unsuccessful man is, you would get pretty far with just standing Mr Sands in front of them. Mr Sands is divorced and has been on his own for twenty three years now. His voice is enough to make anyone want to commit suicide but his empty eyes are just way past creepy.  
>He stares at me unblinkingly.<br>"Take a seat, Dougie" his voice drones, "page sixty eight in your books"  
>I grab a book from the front then settle into my seat next to Paul. He raises his eyebrows at me then taps his watch. I roll my eyes.<br>Paul is one of my closest mates. He's a devil in disguise. He's all polite to teachers and parents but as soon as their backs are turned he goes crazy. Fun but crazy.  
>I look at the time. Still forty-five minutes to go of this depressing silence and Mr Sands empty soulless eyes staring through me.<br>The silence is too much. It actually hurts my ears. It's too loud, in ways I can't describe. It's actually quite scary, the way it just hangs there, daring anything or anyone to make the slightest noise. Silence is a scary sound, that's for sure. I try and look at the words on my textbook, but they start to intertwine with one another, floating around the page. I go to write the date in the margin but stop as my led less pencil hits the paper with a dull thunk. The silence presses me from all sides. I have to make a noise, a movement, something before it squashes me flat.  
>I clear my throat then raise my hand.<br>"Dougie?" Mr Sands drawls sitting upright. I've obviously just awoke him up from a light doze.  
>"Can I go to the toilet, sir?"<br>Mr Sands stares at me for a moment, then slowly blinks, "Surely Mr Poynter you would have had time to do this at home, seeing as you were late?"  
>I grit my teeth, "Sorry sir, I've drunk lots since then"<br>Mr Sands licks his lips slowly; this is obviously a hard decision for him. To let or not to let his least favourite pupil to go release his bladder. He must know it's more bother than it's worth to say no.  
>Mr Sands glances at the clock.<br>Still half an hour to go.  
>"And you can't hold it in?" he asks, or should I say slur. How the school can think of him as a qualified and professional teacher, no one will ever know.<br>Every pair of eyes in the class latch on to me. Most seem grateful for the commotion; I'm not the only one who finds Mr Sand's presence unsettling.  
>"Sorry sir, really can't"<br>Mr Sands shrugs, "you have two minutes Mr Poynter, dare to be any longer and trust me there'll be punishments"  
>I nod, grab my bag then bolt for the door. Even in the corridor at least you can hear low murmurs escaping from closed classroom doors.<br>I don't actually need the toilet but head there anywhere. I'd love to just walk out the gates, like I've done many times before but think of Jazzie. It's hard with the school always calling and visiting mum, soon they'll exclude me, and it's only a matter of time. I know it gets to Jazzie. I know she hates how I don't revise and fail every test I sit. She knows I'm clever but I just can't be bothered to show it. I didn't always used to be so carefree. Once upon a time I did actually get up at half six for school, I did actually use to revise the night before and hand in homework on time but people change, that's life, suck it up, and get used to it.  
>I crash into the toilet scaring a junior who quickly zips up his trousers and makes a quick exit even though it is evident he hasn't finished peeing.<br>I sigh hopping up onto the counter and thinking over last night.  
>Last night had been great. I had gone to some collage guys house party, a friend of a friend of a friend or something like that. It had been mental, something like four hundred people had showed up and only about a hundred had been invited. I'd had one of the best nights of my life. I'd played pool then I had actually jumped into a pool, fully-clothed. Whoever guys party it was, obviously wasn't short on money. Everything oozed expensiveness. I had then hit it off with this really hot chick. I even got her number but I'm not one for a serious relationship, or a second date for that matter. Then this little dude had started a fight with me, although he had ran off only after my first punch with a bleeding nose. It had been a good night; I didn't sneak back to my house until about four-ish in the morning. I had thought everyone would have been sleeping but there had been Jazzie sitting on my bed, her eyes filled with a mixture of disgust and sadness. She didn't talk the whole way through, at one point I was pretty sure she was sleep walking. She pushed me into the shower even though I was so exhausted I thought I was going to pass out. She then put my clothes in the wash, opened my window (even though it's in the middle of November) then brought me water. She had then kissed me softly on the cheek before quite literally putting me to bed. I was asleep before my head had hit the pillow.<br>A crash snaps me out of my thoughts. Four big muscly guys, in there last year of school walk in. They're obviously part of the rugby team, or the football team, or probably both.  
>"Ooh look who it is!" the one in front, obviously the ring leader exclaims to his followers. I only vaguely know who the guy is, Josh Gregory or something like that I think. He's one of the toughest guys in the school and I certainly don't know how he thinks he knows me.<br>"It's Dougie Poynter!" I frown, sliding of the counter to face them.  
>I decide to be blunt, "and you are?"<br>There's a murmur from his followers.  
>"I'm not surprised you don't know who I am little Dougie, but surely you've came across my brother. Maybe heard he was taken to hospital last night, round about midnight because of some little drunk cocky shite at a party busted his nose?"<br>I wait, not understanding what crap he's speaking.  
>"I don't know what you're talking about!"<br>"Sure ya don't" it happens so quickly my mind doesn't even have enough time to register the pain.  
>He takes one step forward then swiftly punches upwards. My nose makes a horrible crunching sound as it collapses in on itself.<br>Pain shoots up my nose and through my temples. My hand flies to my nose as a reflex. Blood starts to trickle from my nose.  
>Josh chuckles, laughing at my bloody face.<br>"Do you remember doing that to my little brother last night Dougie?"  
>The jigsaw is finally complete. I remember the boy from last night, who now when I look at Josh is a complete spitting image of his big brother. How<br>could I have been so stupid to smash the hardest boy in the school's little brother?  
>"That was from him, and this is from me" Josh lurches for me.<br>This time I'm prepared, I duck to the side and my foot lashes out thwacking Josh right in between his legs. His face scrunches up in pain, as he collapses to the floor rolling around in pain. I smile to myself, only to disturb my nose which sends another tide of pain across my face. I look up to see the other boys advancing on me. I bite my lip then swerve around them, bolting for the door. I'm gone before anything of them knows.  
>I rush into a disabled toilet on the other side of school and turn around to face the mirror, slightly dreading what I'm going to find. I'm always in fights, but usually my opponent gets in a worse state than me. I've had quite a couple of serious injuries before but never to the face. The worst on my face has been a black eye. And the worst on my body has been a broken arm.<br>I look into the mirror and see a fourteen year old guy, with blonde/brown hair falling down into his turquoise eyes. Then the explosion of red. It's so red it looks like paint. It looks like someone's walked up to me and flicked there paint brush at me.  
>I quickly grab some toilet paper and wet it. I dab slightly around my nose, slowly washing away the blood. I wince nearly at every dab. The pain is so surreal! It's so painful it almost doesn't hurt if that makes any sense what so ever?<br>After a while I've managed to get rid of all the blood. I take out the bits of tissues that I stuffed up my nose and inspect it closely. The bleedings stopped which is something. If you were looking long enough you would realise it's at an odd angle, and the bridge of it is slightly blue and purple but overall, or from far away at least you wouldn't be able to tell anything's happened. I'm pretty sure it's broken but I can't go to the school nurse. The school said last time that if I was caught fighting in school premises again I would be out before I could blink. I shake my head angrily, trust me. Even when I'm going about my own business something bad happens to me. It's like I'm a magnet, I seem to attract trouble. Maybe I'm an easy target, I don't know.  
>Happy with my doctor skills I leave the toilet looking left and right before I fully step out. No doubt by the end of the week I'll be in a worse state if Josh and his cronies get a hold of me. I had kicked quite hard, harder than what I had thought. I smile to myself as I imagine Josh trying to walk, or even move. I thank the gods that all I got is a busted nose. I glance down at my watch and am surprised to see the big hand pointing at twelve. The first bells just went, and not wanting to draw more attention to myself by being late I rush to my fourth period class which is Biology.<br>I slip in unnoticed and take my regular seat at the back. None of my friends are in this class. It's not the sort of class you would find a 'cool' or 'unintelligent' pupil in. I look around and feel myself relax. This is by far my most favourite class ever. Music would be my second favourite. There the only two classes I let my guard down and actually listen, sharpen my pencil and take down notes. Of course I do it discreetly, no matter how much I love this class I don't want to come across as a goody two shoes!  
>I take out my jotter balancing it on my knees, so it's hidden by the desk and watch as the teacher, Mrs Scott, a pretty woman in her twenty's flicks through a slideshow of reptiles. Mrs Scott is my favourite teacher, not because of the fact that she's extremely beautiful, but because she sees right through me. She's the only teacher that gives me a chance.<br>"This is the reptile family as you guys probably would have learnt way back in primary, but I'm just setting this as light revision" she flicks through some pictures of lizards and excitement sparks through me as she points out there different body parts and what their purpose in life is.  
>She puts up a diagram on the board for us to copy down. I pull my jotter from underneath the desk and place it on top. My eyes suddenly feel heavy. It must be the tiredness from last night kicking in. I try to ignore the searing pain in my nose but it's too much. I lower my head onto my arms, careful to avoid my nose.<br>I must drift off because I'm soon being gently shaken awake. I groggily lift my head and rub my eyes to see Mrs Scott kneeling in front of me looking concerned. The rest of the class are gone and a glance at the clock confirms it's the end of the period.  
>"What happened to your nose Dougie?" she asks softly.<br>I shrug.  
>She cocks her head slightly, looking sad.<br>"Dougie, your nose wasn't like that yesterday"  
>"I don't know what happened! Must have slept funny on it or something"<br>She smiles at my pathetic excuse.  
>"How come you're so tired?" She raises an eyebrow.<br>I shrug again.  
>"Dougie for me to help you I need answers"<br>"Who said I wanted help?" I ask angrily.  
>She sighs then goes over to her desk. I start to pack my things away.<br>"Is everything OK at home?" she looks over at me whilst scribbling something down on a bit of paper.  
>I don't answer her; I concentrate on zipping up my bag.<br>"Dougie?"  
>"Nothing's wrong at home" I say quietly and I know in that moment she can see right through my hard exterior and emotionless voice. She doesn't<br>believe me, and I don't believe myself either to be honest.  
>"Is it safe at home?" her hazel eyes search my face for something.<br>"Safe enough" is all I say before standing up and heading for the door. She blocks my path. She's wearing high heels and we're about the same height.  
>"Here" she says handing me a slip of blue paper, "Go to the nurse's office and give them this, don't open it please"<br>I frown slightly only causing my nose to scream out in protest. I know I have no intention of going there but take it anyway.  
>"Dougie, if something's going on it's not going to get any better if you ignore it" she smiles sadly, "I'm here to talk to, if you need someone"<br>I look at her perfectly make-upped face. For a twenty-something year old, she has mothering down to a tee. It would be so easy to just sit down and tell her everything. Then she would tell me it's okay, speak the comforting words that my mum had failed to deliver to me long ago. But it's not that easy, I just know that she would have to get the police involved or possibly social services, take me away from my home and as hard as my life was becoming, I couldn't leave Jazzie and mum. I push down harder on the lid of my jar of worries and say the first polite thing I can think of;  
>"Thank you" I nod.<br>She opens the door for me and I walk to the end of the corridor, turn around the corner and when I'm out of her view tear up the blue piece of paper and let it slip through my fingers.  
>I know it's a teacher's note. It's very rare in your school life to get one. The note gives you permission to leave class whenever you want and to go talk about <em>feelings<em> with the school counsellor. Literally it's for the seriously mentally ill or the extremely thick and troubled pupils, pupils who everybody pities.  
>I grit my teeth angrily before kicking the wall.<br>There's nothing wrong with me, can no one see that?  
>Then I realise something that only darkens my mood further more. I have detention to attend too.<p>

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><p><strong>Hope you guys like it! It's my first fanfic, so please don't be too harsh in the reviews :(! That's another thing, PLEASE REVIEW IF YOU'VE READ THIS! Please, with chocolate chips on top? Haha, second chapter is a little bit faster paced, this one was just y'know introducing the characters and stuff... anyway byeee!<strong>


	2. Somewhere Buried In The Past

**You Can't Bring Me Down  
>Hey; So here's the 2nd Chapter already up! I sadly do not own any McFLY members. Mild swearing!<strong>

**CHAPTER TWO **Somewhere Buried In The Past

-MRS SCOTTS POV-

I search his face to find something, anything! He keeps his face composed but I can tell he's hurting. Physically and mentally. How he isn't screaming with the pain from his nose I don't know!  
>"Safe enough" he whispers.<br>He looks so young and yet so old at the same time. He looks like he's saw and been through things no fourteen year old should have to go through yet he looks vulnerable too. Like a little kid seeking help, yet when anyone offers it he pushes it away and closes himself off.  
>"Here" I hand him the blue note. He looks at it and I can see anger spark in his eyes. In that moment I know he won't go, "Go to the nurses office and give them this, don't open it please"<br>I wait he takes it from my hand slowly. He frowns and I can tell it hurts his nose.  
>"Dougie, if something's going on it's not going to get any better if you ignore it" I try to flash him a friendly smile but I know it's came over more as a grimace, "I'm here to talk to, if you need someone"<br>He looks like he might say something, finally might open up but then it's gone, his face goes hard again, contorting his handsome features.  
>"Thank you" is all he says.<br>I sigh inwardly. I open the door for him and watch as he rounds the corner, out of my sight. Gone.  
>Ever since the boy had been in my class I had felt protective towards him. The silence and hurt that radiated from him haunted me. Even outside school my mind always wandered to him. What could have happened that was so bad to have completely changed a boy like that?<br>I had once looked at his school files. He was an amazing pupil, all the teachers gushed in his reports; 'a pleasure to have in class', 'always giving 100%', etc., etc. Then it came to high school. A few teachers thought he was having difficulty settling in. After that he became the nuisance of the century, getting involved with the wrong people and turning up to school with a black eye and a drunken story to go with it. Everyone knew his name for his witty attitude and 'I don't give two shits' way about him. He spent more time outside in the corridor than in class. He disturbed everything in his path, 'a bull in a china shop' a teacher commented on one of his check-up reports. He had definitely broken a world record for his lateness's and detentions.  
>Everyone had given up on him. Except me, I just have this feeling he can be saved.<br>I look around me, feeling defeated. Lunch time, only two hours till the end of the day. I grab my sandwich box from the drawer in my big oak wood desk. I lock the classroom behind me, straightening up a few of the biology posters as I go.  
>I walk to the end of the science corridor then turn upwards. That's when it catches my eye. The flakes of blue paper decorating the floor. My heart sinks as I kneel down and start to pick up a rather large piece and recall what I wrote;<p>

- _'Dougie Poynter has obviously been in some sort of fight recently, due to the swelling and bruising of his nose. I'm pretty sure it's broken. He seems a bit disorientated, out of it. I've noticed his tiredness over the last couple of weeks and wonder if some counselling will help him? I think a call home would be for the best,_

_Yours faithfully_  
><em>Mrs Scott'<em>

* * *

><p>DOUGIE'S POV<p>

I knock once then walk in.  
>Mrs Hound looks at me, then her watch.<br>"Do you enjoy being late, Dougie?"  
>I look at her and speak threw my teeth.<br>"Sorry miss, just got held up"  
>She doesn't approve of my lack of apology, "If you're going to be late then at least think of a decent excuse!" she snaps.<br>I take a seat next to the window. She heaves herself up then hobbles over to a filing cabinet pulling out a heavy maths textbook and some lined paper.  
>She slams it down on my desk and I receive a glare from her.<br>My sinuses are screaming in pain and I'd give anything to just close my eyes and give into the tiredness that threatens to take over my mind.  
>"Make your way through the book, this is what you'll be working on for the rest of the week, or at this rate, the rest of this term" Mrs Hound spins around, so her backs facing me and starts up the computer.<br>I rest my head on my hand and flick the textbook open. I groan inwardly as random numbers jump out at me. This only increases my headache.  
>The pain echoes around my head. How is it in movies, they never show this bit after the guy gets punched? I try to massage my temples but the pain is so extreme that a small moan escapes my lips; I bite down hard on my tongue. Mrs Hounds is so wrapped up in what she's doing she obviously doesn't hear me.<br>I dare to rest my head on the table, crossing my fingers Mrs Hounds won't turn around or I certainly will be in detention for the whole term.  
>The room seems to spin even though I'm sitting down, I clutch on the sides of my seat, willing the nausea away. I've never experienced this before and don't know what to do. The pain is so bad I can feel bile rising up in my throat. There seems to be a haziness nipping at the edges of my vision. Sleep is pulling at me and dragging me under. I fight for consciousness but feel myself slip of my chair and thud to the ground.<br>"Dougie? Dougie? Dougie talk to me?"

Then everything goes black.

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><p><strong>Yeah this is a really short chapter and there's a technical reason for that but whatever, hope you guys liked it! PLEASE REVIEW, I beg! There's a free McFLY band member of your choice if you review... haha, I wish!<strong>

**Peace out!...**


	3. We Got A Situation

**You Can't Bring Me Down **

**Here's Chapter Three! I hope you enjoy, and please, I beg, review! There's more swearing (sorry!) and a little talk of drugs, though its tiny, I promise! And one last thing, tell me if you think I should change the rating?**

**Chapter One **We Got A Situation

JAZZIE'S POV

The bell for the end of lunch was about to sound. Me and my two best friends, Samantha and Kerry were walking up from the high street, finishing of our chicken baguettes. The school came into view.  
>"So both of you come round to mine at about five o'clock?" asks Kerry.<br>"Yeah fives perfect!" me and Samantha agree. We're planning for tonight; it's Millie's (Samantha's big sisters) birthday party. We're  
>getting ready at Kerry's then her dad's giving us a lift up to the Gold Fishers disco in town. We're all so excited we can't wait for school to end.<br>My mind slowly wonders to Dougie. I wonder if he got in trouble for this morning. I shiver through my thickly padded winter jacket as I think of him landing himself into exclusion. I was surprised he had even bothered to come to school at all today. Last night I had been determined for mum not to find out about Dougie's whereabouts. I had stayed up, waiting for him all night when he had finally stumbled in at four o'clock, half out his mind.  
>We get closer to the school just as we hear a distant ambulance siren.<br>It starts to grow louder… and louder. We all look up in surprise as it rounds the corner, obviously heading for our school. We cover our ears as it pulls up not that far ahead from us. Paramedics jump out with a folded wheelchair and other medical things that I don't know the name of. Me, Samantha and Kerry freeze as we watch the events unfold before us. A small crowd gathers around the ambulance. The paramedics rush in to the school. We all stay in silence as we try and figure out what idiots gone and hurt themselves. Has someone drowned in a toilet bowl whilst being bog washed? Or has somebody drunk H2SO4 instead of H2O in science?  
>We wait, the tension rising around us. Then the paramedics burst out the front doors again but this time with somebody in the wheelchair. The person in the wheelchair has a neck brace on, and is so thickly padded with blankets that it's hard to tell who it is. Then they start to run closer. My heart lurches from my chest into my throat as I recognise Dougie's limp form, and shaggy hair.<br>I grab Kerry's arm, my eyes growing wide. The crowd's mouths hang open.  
>"Oh my God…" I breathe then I stumble forward. A paramedic notices me and frowns slightly.<br>"Can I help you?" she asks.  
>I point at Dougie completely in shock. He looks so pale and his nose and eyes seem to have swollen ten times bigger since last time I saw him.<br>"That's my brother" is all I can push out between my chattering teeth.  
>Recognition passes across the woman's face and she smiles at me kindly, "Would you like to come in the ambulance?"<br>I nod frantically and she helps me into the back. I catch a glimpse of Kerry and Samantha's shocked faces before the doors are slammed shut. The siren starts up again and we're on the move. I'm not a complete stranger to an ambulance. I'm used to the slightly nausea feel as your thrown about in the windowless van. Dougie's been whisked away to hospital many times before. So much so I've lost count. He doesn't like to remember or talk about these times. See, one thing about Dougie is that he's the most accident-prone person going. If there's two ways of doing something, he'll find a third.  
>The funny thing is, Dougie's petrified of hospitals, even though he's at them enough, has been ever since he was young. He was five or six maybe, and dad was giving him a bath. Dougie stood up just as the water was draining away and slipped on the last of the soapy suds at his feet. He wacked his head of the side of the bath and split just above his eye open. He still has a small scar under his eyebrow to this very day; this was what triggered his fear.<br>I look over at Dougie; an oxygen mask has been placed over his mouth and nose. I slowly shake my head and ask myself what has he done now? What could he have possibly gone and done now?

DOUGIES POV

"Dougie wake up" someone orders firmly.  
>No way. It's nice here, in the darkness with the sound of… is that waves? It's in the middle of November and I've fallen asleep on a beach? I listen closer. I'm not sure if it is waves; it's more of a 'whooshing' sound. I snuggle down further in to the darkness. At least I'm warm that must count for something. Curiosity bites at me as I try and figure out my surroundings. I push my eyes open, except they don't open. I frown, or at least frown in my imagination. I try again but nothing happens. Is this a joke? Has someone taped my eyes shut when I've been sleeping? It doesn't seem like Jazzie's style of humour. I feel like I've been drugged and funnily enough it's a nice feeling, like I don't have a worry in the world.<br>"Dougie wake up now" the same demanding voice.  
>I start to panic.<br>I'M TRYING! I try and scream back but it doesn't come out.  
>I concentrate all my energy on lifting my led weighted eyes. It's like I'm stuck in some gooey substance. The harder I try and get out of it, the more I get stuck. A light flashes before me. I try and follow it. It's going from side to side. Then suddenly I break from the goo. My eyes snap open, alert and ready.<br>The first few things I notice are bright lights everywhere, blinding me. The second thing is the pain, the unbelievable pain across the middle of my face.  
>"He's awake" someone states.<br>I blink; will someone please tone down the lights a bit?  
>Then Jazzie comes into view, blocking everything out. She looks almost angry.<br>"Right Dougs, you're in a hospital. Don't freak out, it's nothing big" Jazzie tells me in her calm, controlled voice.  
>I blink some more and then someone either dims the lights, or my eyes become use to them. I'm sat up in what looks like a temporary hospital bed. I have an oxygen mask over my face but I'm thankfully, oh thank god, not connected to any machines. If I had found a needle sticking out of me I think I would have passed out again. The room's small, it's more like a doctor's office than a ward. Actually I think it is a doctor's office. There's a desk on the other side of the room and a skeleton poster stuck to the back of the door.<br>Then I notice a small woman behind the desk, she gets up noticing I'm awake, and stands next to Jazzie. She has a graceful manner about her. Her bleach blonde hair is tied back into a really tight bun. She has the typical long white coat on and a badge pinned to her chest reading: _Doctor Collins.  
><em>"Hello Dougie" she smiles at me, "You might feel a little groggy, and I'll imagine your face is in a lot of pain right now"  
>I nod. Pain is an understatement, it's like it's on fire.<br>"You passed out due to the mixture of blood loss, tiredness, pain and hunger" she carries on, "We'll have to wait a day or two for the swelling in your nose to go down before we can operate-"  
>"Operate?" I squeak.<br>"I'm afraid the bone across the bridge of your nose is completely shattered, and gives us nothing to work on. We'll have to take some cartilage from your ear. You'll have a permanent scar and possible a slight crook to your nose, but the pain will be gone"  
>My mouth hangs open as I stare at her. Right this certainly never happens in movies.<br>I try and clear my head but the headache makes it hard to think.  
>"The blood has blocked your nose, it is not advised that you try and blow your nose, not at all in fact. You'll have difficulty breathing, hence the oxygen mask, so we'll assign you an inhaler for a short period of time. We've booked you in for your operation on Wednesday morning; the swelling should be down by then. The operation only takes up to an hour maximum" she looks down at her clipboard, then back up at me, "That's about it. We've prescribed you some ibuprofen for the pain. Stay elevated at all times, especially in your sleep. Any questions?"<br>I honestly think I've went into shock. That fucking Josh is going down! Who the hell does he think he is just walking up to me and breaking my nose? Anger boils through me. His brother should learn to fight for his own battles! Now I'm going for an operation in no more than a day for his stupid jerkiness?  
>"Should he stay of school?" asks Jazzie.<br>"It's probably best he'll experience some dizzy spells and extremely bad migraines"  
>Jazzie nods.<br>The door suddenly flies open. Mum rushes in, looking flustered. She comes straight over to me.  
>"Are you okay honey? What happened? The school phoned to say you-" she looks at my nose, which is the size of a balloon, "Oh-My-God... Dougie Lee Poynter do not tell me you've been in <em>another<em> fight! You do know what this means, don't you?"  
>The doctor looks uncomfortable; she goes back to her desk and starts to type away at her computer, nervously looking up every now and then.<br>Jazzie sighs, sitting back.  
>"It wasn't my fault!" My voice sounds all funny behind the oxygen mask so I rip it off, "This guy honestly just walked up to me and punched me in the face!"<br>Mum glares at me, shaking her head.  
>"Really" she starts to pace the room, "I actually don't know how to handle you anymore Dougie. Every blooming day there's always something! What happened to my son?" she screams at me. I avoid her eyes. If only she knew.<br>"I mean, is it an attention thing?"  
>My eyes snap to her, "Attention? You think I want attention? All I want is to be left alone!"<br>Mum laughs without humour, "You could have fooled me!"  
>I sit up abruptly, making the room spin. I feel Jazzie's hand on my forearm.<br>"Y'know what, _I've_ had enough! You make out it's so fucking difficult to look after me and Jazzie! You're a fail at a mother, always moaning and dumping a whole load of shit on _our_ shoulders, whilst you do bugger all!"  
>And with that I stalk out the room, slamming the door behind me angrily. My head feels like it's going to explode but I honestly couldn't care less.<p>

* * *

><p>I end up just getting the bus back home, tiredness nagging at my bones. I hate it! My nose is so painful, I just want to rip it off or something, make the pain go away.<br>I slam the back door, whilst slipping of my shoes. I hope mum and Jazzie have worried about me. Whilst they sat in their cosy house, I waited at a bus stop freezing my arse off.  
>"Hey, son" I look up in shock as my dad stands, leaning against the counter with a cup of tea in his hands.<br>"Hey" I frown, "I thought you weren't going to be back till Thursday?"  
>"Nah, it was easy business. Although I think I'll be back at the weekend" My dad takes a sip of his tea.<br>"Why's your work so demanding? They shouldn't just expect you to jump up at any minute when they snap their fingers"  
>Dad nods, "I know son, I know but it's a good pay, I can hardly complain"<br>"Well mum does" I mumble.  
>He rolls his eyes, "That woman worries and complains too much. She's gonna make herself ill one day! Anyway what's this I hear<br>about you fainting like a girl at school?"  
>I scowl at him, "I didn't faint, I passed out. There's a difference"<br>I go over to the fridge, yanking at the stiff handle. It finally opens revealing shelves and shelves of beer.  
>"Take it you were left to shop this week, dad?" I ask, smirking to myself.<br>"Yuup! It's the final cup tomorrow night, didn't think I wasn't going to treat myself did you?"  
>Now it's my turn to roll my eyes.<br>My dad moves closer to me, lowering his voice. I know what he's going to say before he says it.  
>"You sold any that good stuff yet?"<br>My eyes flicker to his face then back into the fridge. I pull out a can of coke.  
>"There was a party last night; I sold a bit but not much. I'm telling you dad, the kids at my school aren't into that stuff"<br>Dad sighs heavily, "Well sell elsewhere. Get yourself into clubs, collage parties, and try harder!"  
>I flinch as his voice rises.<br>He starts to rummage in his pocket.  
>"Hold out your hand" he orders. I do as I'm told. He drops something onto my hand and I quickly squeeze it shut.<br>"I want that sold by Friday, okay?"  
>I nod and then he's gone.<br>"I'm going out to the pub!" he calls through to mum in the living room then slams out the front door.  
>I slowly start up to my room, passing the living room where mum and Jazzie sit huddled on the leather sofa watching <em>Strictly Come Dancing<em>. Once I get into my room I open my fist, and there in the palm of my hand is a small bag of white powder.

**Another Chapter up! I don't really like this chapter… I'm not sure why. But tell me what you's think! It's the holidays so I'm gonna try and get a chapter up a day, but I've been a bit rushed of my feet. I'll try and upload them at night:) This chapter's quite short aswell, aarghh sorry! I'll try my best to make them longer!**

**Bye my little orange furry munchkins**

**xx**


	4. I'm Hurt But I'll Be Fine

**You Can't Bring Me Down**

**So Hoya;) I just wanted to clear this of my chest, I know in real life Dougie's dad was just a man, who fell out of love with Sam Poynter, and fell in love with another woman. He left his family. Before that the only damage he really done was fighting, lots of fighting matches (as Dougie once said in an interview), and he also drunk quite a lot. I know for a fact he was NOT abusive, just intimidating and as far as I'm concerned never forced Dougie into selling drugs for him! That's just my little twist, okay? Haha, anyway, just felt like sharing that, That's The Truth, and now here's chapter four… **

**CHAPTER FOUR **I'm hurt but I'll be fine

-DOUGIE'S POV-

After a while I started to feel guilty for all what I had said to mum at the hospital.  
>I creep downstairs into the living room to find her alone. When I walk in she smiles up at me, not a happy smile, sad almost. She pats the space on the sofa next to her and I slowly lower myself down.<br>"Mum I'm really sorry about what I said. You're a great mum, amazing in fact and I'll promise to try harder" the words pour out my mouth.  
>She sighs, and then lifts her hand to my cheek, stroking it gently. Any other day I would have pulled away, but not today.<br>"Dougie you have nothing to apologise for, trust me. This is entirely my fault, your right to be angry at me, and_ I_ promise_ you_ I'll try harder" she pulls me into a tight hug, carefully dodging my nose. Her sweet scent engulfs me, and I can feel tears start to prick at the back of my eyes. I just want everything to stop, I wish I could rewind time and most of all I wish I could have been stronger. Stronger for me, stronger for mum, and stronger for Jazzie. And the worst part? The worst part is knowing I can make it all go away. All I have to do is raise my voice and be heard, and then it'll all be in the past, buried beneath better memories. I'm not really angry at mum; I know it's not her fault that the cat seems to have caught my tongue. If she knew, she would help me.  
>I pull her closer to me. I don't know how long it's been since I've hugged her, a year maybe? Probably more than that.<br>"It's not your fault, trust me" I mumble into her shoulder, my voice all nasally.  
>She pulls back from me, looking into my eyes, "And what makes you think it's yours?"<br>The words start to form in my mouth, I can feel them rolling along my tongue, they get so close to my lips… then I snap my mouth shut.  
>I shrug.<br>"Exactly" she says with a smug smile on her face. She turns back to the TV, pressing the off button.  
>"C'mon" she struggles up, bringing me with her, "Bedtime for the Poynter's, I've got work in the morning, and you look completely shattered"<br>I flash a small smile at her.  
>We walk up the stairs like zombies.<br>"'Night"  
>"Goodnight, honey"<br>I rip of my hospital-smelling school clothes before hopping into bed only in my boxers. I prop the pillows up, remembering what the nurse said about 'keeping elevated, especially when you're sleeping'. My eyes close and soon I'm dreaming about memories. Lots and lots of memories in a slideshow. One after the other they keep coming. It's going to be a long night.  
>I wake up with a start, sitting bolt upright. I groan as the room starts to tip to the side and another heavily weighted headache starts up. There's a crash downstairs and I can hear dad drunkenly singing. I tiptoe to my door as the hall light is switched on. Orange light glows beneath my door.<br>"What the hell" I hear mum mumble as she passes my door and makes her way downstairs.  
>"Gary, what on earth are you doing? It's half three in the morning! I have work in the morning, and Jazzie has school!" I hear mum whisper-shouting.<br>There's a clang, "I'm making waffles, want one?" dad slurs.  
>I grit my teeth angrily. This is not happening again. I wish he would stay at his work. God knows what he works as, or how he needs to go away so often, not coming back until a week or two later. I don't dare to ask, it's probably something illegal and I hate to think where he stays when he's away.<br>"_Waffles? _Your making _waffles?_" mum screeches, forgetting to keep her voice down.  
>"Yeah baby, there a type of food, you can put syrup on them or you can have chocolate or did you know you can actually get savoury waffles-"<br>Mum interrupts him, fury bubbling through her voice, "Gary, get to bed now. Do you know what example you're setting for our kids? Dougie is going through a really hard time right now and he needs his dad, which is _supposed_ to be your job! If you put in some effort-"  
>There's a cracking sound then abrupt silence.<br>My heart stops. What the hell was that noise?  
>I hear somebody groan in pain and then heavy footsteps on the stairs which must mean dad finally going to bed. Why's mum so quiet? Fear pumps through my veins as I creak open my bedroom door. I quietly walk to the top of the stairs and listen for any sort of movement. There's a sniffling sound and I realise its mum crying. I kneel down, twisting myself at an odd angle until the kitchen comes into view. She's sitting at the dining table, her hand covering her cheek. He's hit mum! I sit in shock on the landing. I don't know what to do. What do you do in this situation? Dad has punched me before when he's been drunk, although only whenever he's been drunk, he's not known to be a very violent man. A little intimidating, that's for sure! I watch her for a second or two before I get up and walk back to my room. I close the door quietly then slide down it until I reach the floor. I draw my knees to my chest, resting my head on top.<br>I mull things over in my head. Twisting them and stretching them. Thinking what if's and but's. Ignoring all of this is obviously getting me nowhere, damn I've been doing it for two years and all it's done is wreck my life! There's nowhere left to run, I'm trapped and I'll just have to face up to everything. Although I'm not sure how the hell I'm going to do this, or when for that matter. I massage my temples angrily. For now I need to pretend, for my family's wellbeing. After my operation, times up, I'll need to do something, anything! Happy with my unorganised plan, I climb into bed returning to my troubled sleep.

* * *

><p>Tuesday is spent bumming around. I wake up at noon; have a cheesy toasty then sit in front of the telly for the duration of time before Jazzie gets home from school.<br>She comes into the living room, sighing heavily before chucking herself at the arm chair in the corner.  
>"Hey" I greet her.<br>She salutes me as a reply.  
>"Someone's being blunt" I pout huffily. I've spent the whole day with only myself as company, and the first person I see just blows me off.<br>"Sorry" she mumbles, rubbing her eyes. She removes her eyes to reveal a mass of black.  
>"You've smudged your mascara" I note to her. She sighs again. "What's up?"<br>She shrugs, "Shattered"  
>"How come, never knew school was that draining?"<br>"No you moppet, I had a party last night" she rolls her eyes.  
>"So you did" I remember, "What time did you get in?"<br>"Got back at about midnight" she pulls of her shoes, "Then I had to get up extre early for rehearsals"  
>I frown, "Rehearsals for what?"<br>She groans, "The school play! Somewhere over the rainbow? I'm Dorothy, _the main role_?"  
>Oh crap.<br>"Sorry, I completely forgot!" I apologise sincerely.  
>She looks at me for a moment or two. "You better come see me in it"<br>I tear my eyes of the TV screen to look at her, "When is it?"  
>"June"<br>"_June?_ That's aaages away! Why are you rehearsing for it away here in November?"  
>"Wow, you really do appear to have no brain" she gets up and walks through to the kitchen.<br>"You want a coke?" she calls through.  
>"Yeah please!" I call back.<br>The fridge opens then closes. Then the same eerie silence as last night fills the air.  
>"Dougie?" Jazzie sounds upset.<br>I jump up from the couch and jog through.  
>"What's wrong?" I follow her gaze to a small piece of lined paper lying on the dining table. It has obviously been ripped out a notepad or something. I move closer to read it and recognise dad's scrawly writing almost instantly. It's obvious he's written it in a hurry. My eyes focus on the words. The four messy words written all in descent. Just like that in an instant my childhoods gone.<p>

_I've had enough.  
><em>_Dad_

I look up at Jazzie's tearful eyes.  
>"H-he's left?" I ask in bewilderment. Jazzie nods, a sob breaking the truly horrifying sadness in the room.<br>Dad hasn't always really been that good a dad but he's just been there, you know? Through all the mistakes he's made, through all the mental disruption he's caused me, the nightmares, he's still worn the title as my dad. No one could take that away from him, there was no other Gary Poynter out there. He wasn't supposed to leave, we were meant to work through things. _This wasn't supposed to happen._ He's taught me so many things. He's taught me how to ride a bike, boil an egg, and even flirt with a girl (not that his theory really works). As a child he's made me laugh so many countless times; like getting Chinese chopsticks and slotting them under his upper lip so he looked like a walrus. He was a goof, but he was my dad and I loved him a lot. Not now. With him he's took my childhood filled with happy memories and the love I've ever felt for him, now he leaves me with the memories from the last couple of years, all the hate he's ever showed towards me.  
>Jazzie drops her head into her hands.<br>I feel nothing. No sadness, no anger, nothing.  
>I just stand as Jazzie lowers herself into a chair and watch.<br>It must be about an hour later when mum comes back from work.  
>"I'm home!" she yells happily. Jazzie freezes then breaks down into more sobs.<br>Mum rushes to us, concern etched all over her face.  
>"What's happened?"<br>My eyes zone in on the angry red mark on her cheek, where dad must've hit her. Is that why dad left? Was he afraid she would have told someone? Because she wouldn't have, anyone could have guessed that. She loved him and us all too much to tear us apart. She had put up with all his shit and this is how he repays her. If only I could get my hands on him now.  
>Jazzie explains everything; mum just sits opposite her and nods, taking it all in. It's like I'm in a dream, everything is so surreal. How can someone choose to leave their own family? How can someone be there one minute, then not the next?<br>"It was only a matter of time" mum says softly, rubbing circles on Jazzie's back.  
>"Mum? How can you be so calm, he's gone? What are we going to do for money-" Jazzie sounds close to hysterics.<br>"Jazzie, if you're worried about the money, then there's no need. We'll do perfectly fine. All me and dad have done the past few months is fight. There's been nothing there, and though it's took a lot for me to notice, I don't love him anymore"  
>Jazzie blinks up at her in surprise.<br>Mum turns to me, "How are you coping big man?" she asks me, smiling softly.  
>"Fine" I say shortly, "Look I'm exhausted, I'm headed to bed, yeah?"<br>Mum looks at me for a moment, then nods, "Yeah, I think that's what we all need: a good untroubled night's sleep and then to wake up in the morning with clear heads"  
>Morning. Oh-oh. Tomorrow is Wednesday. Wednesday means operation.<br>"What time are we to go in to the Hosp-" I gulp, gagging at the word, "Hospital tomorrow?"  
>"Ten o'clock, sweetie. So I'll get you up at nine, okay?"<br>I nod then drag my feet up the stairs. It's still early, and even though I've spent all day lying around I feel like I've not slept in days.

* * *

><p>Too soon I can feel hands shaking me awake.<br>"Come one honey, jump in the shower!"  
>"Why's it so early?" I mumble.<br>Mum chuckles.  
>I open my eyes only to instantly screw them up again. Mum whips the curtains open.<br>"Argh, mum!"  
>"That'll teach you, now get in the shower!" she stalks out my room.<br>I heave myself up. I'm so used to the pain in my nose it's just a dull ache to me now. The swellings went almost completely down although there is still a huge lump across my nose where the broken bone must be gathered. It almost looks dangerous having the crooked nose look, like I'm adventurous or something. I climb into the shower and nearly come running back out it again.  
>"Mum, put the hot water on!" I yell, my teeth chattering as an icy drop rolls down my spine.<br>I hear her click the switch then feel the water gradually getting warmer. For some reason I'm in a good mood today, which makes no sense at all seeing as we're heading to the hospital in less than fifteen minutes.  
>I towel dry myself down before pulling on a pair of baggy jeans and a green Hurley t-shirt. I slip on some vans, grab a jumper, spike the front of my hair up then jog downstairs. That's when it hits me. I feel winded, like I've ran into someone's fist. I actually stop to catch my breath.<br>"You okay, Honey?" mum asks as I take a seat around the wooden table.  
>I nod trying to disguise the look of recognition plastered all over my face. I feel like such an idiot for forgetting. Yesterday dad left. How the hell had that slipped my mind?<br>Jazzie walks in, her perfume wafting over to me.  
>"Hey bro" she nips my cheek whilst passing.<br>"Ouch!" I scream out, clutching my cheek. She laughs before helping mum set out the plates. It's not that unusual having only three plates at the table. Dad was mostly always away but for some reason its stands out this time. It's like someone's screaming in my ear _'look no place set for dad!'  
><em>I tear my gaze away from his seat, using all my strength not to kick his chair over.  
>"Voila!" mum rips the napkin away that had been covering my food to reveal a full fry up. It's not often she goes to so much effort, especially just for breakfast.<br>I grin up at her, making sure I compliment her, thinking how strong she's being. Why can't I be strong? I grit my teeth and pick up my fork. I'm not hungry; actually I think I'm on the verge of being sick but force it down for mum. They seem to be being overly nice today. This could be because dad's left or because I'm being operated on today. Whichever the reason is I hate their fake smiles and perky voices. They don't seem to get the hint from me though. I refuse to join in on their conversations during the twenty minute car journey to the hospital. They even start to sing along at some songs on the radio at one point. I want to jump out this moving car. How easy it would be to just pull back the car door handle and throw myself into the millions of cars whizzing past.  
>I rest my head back and start counting. Not counting anything in particular, just counting upwards. One, two, three, four, five, six… and on I go. Maybe I'm counting seconds, or memories, or cars, or lives, or people… who knows and who cares?<br>I'm still counting even when Jazzie grabs my hand and leads me to the front office of the hospital. I'm still counting even when they ask me to sign some form. I'm even still counting as the doctor goes through the procedure of the operation.  
>"Dougie?"<br>12324, 12325, 12326, 12327…  
>"Dougie?"<br>My thoughts are interrupted. I look up at the middle aged, grey haired doctor in front of me. His beady eyes squint down at me. I shudder as he reminds me of Mr Sands.  
>"Yeah?" my delayed reply comes.<br>"I said you seem a little pre-occupied today" the doctor says tersely, it's obvious he's had to repeat this a few times to me.  
>"Yeah… sorry" Where's mum and Jazzie? I could've sworn they were here a minute ago! I look around starting to feel a little panicked. We're in a very small, long room with a row of red comfy chairs.<br>"Now, there's a bathroom just down there" the doctor points to a door at the other side of the room, "Go get changed into this" he hands me a hospital gown. I look down at the gown then up at his face to see if he's joking. Apparently not. I take the gown from his outstretched hand then go into the bathroom.  
>Once I'm in the gown, I don't remember putting myself in one, that's how fast events are happening; they take me to the operating room. It feels so weird just walking in. I feel like I should be in a bed or something, being whizzed along the corridors.<br>"Right Dougie, if you just settle yourself down on here" a permanently smiling nurse pats the bed in the middle of the room. There are scary looking machines and equipment everywhere, making me feel super claustrophobic. I hitch myself onto the bed and lie down awkwardly.  
>"You won't need any of these machines today except from this" she points to a tall pole on wheels, with a bag full of clear liquid, and a needle pointing downwards, "You'll also have to wear this"<br>The nurse reaches for the oxygen mask.  
>"Apart from that, you'll wake up with a little bit of an ear ache and a dull headache" she smiles down at me, "We're ready when you are, Dougie"<br>I start to panic.  
>"How will you get the cartilage out from my ear?" I ask hurriedly.<br>"We'll just make a simple slit and remove it carefully from there" she explains, pointing to the back of my ear.  
>I nod. What else is there to say?<br>"I'm ready"  
>The nurse's smile grows wider, if that's possible and she moves the pole on wheels closer.<br>"We're just going to sedate you now, okay Dougie? Count back from ten for me" the Mr Sands lookalike doctor tells me.  
>I feel the slight jab of the needle into my arm then start to count. That's all I've been doing today is counting. Counting for what? Why is it I'm counting? My head starts to float high above my body. I feel the need to laugh but I can't move anything. Everything's went heavy yet at the same time I feel weightless, paper thin.<br>"8… 7…" my lips become numb. My tongue feels like its swollen but I know it's not. As I try and say six, the grey haired doctor comes into view. I don't know if I really trust this guy, I mean he looks like my depressive English teacher, that doesn't say much about him does it? I wonder if he's been divorced for twenty three years too… would be so funny…

Everything fades to nothingness.

* * *

><p><strong>Atleast I kept my promise, this chapters longer:D? So anyway what d'you think of Dougie's dad?<br>PLEASE REVIEW! PLEASE REVIEW! PLEASE REVIEW! thankyou so much for the kind reviews so far:D**

_**eviee31, NeverTickleASleepingDragon555, RachylIsMe, xtwistedanddecayedx, iheartmcflyx, xxMECxx, frogsRgreen and DarcieBiffo**_THANKYOU ALL SO MUCH:D:D:D:D! xxxxxxx


	5. Unfortunate Consequence

**You Can't Bring Me Down  
>this chapter has caused me A LOT of stress! It's been hard to write, I've needed to include a lot of things plus keep from slipping out of character. But no worries because after what seems like decades I present to you Chapter Five…<strong>

**Chapter Five **Unfortunate Consequence

DOUGIE'S POV

I crash into the living room, groaning.  
>"Home sweet, home!" I sing.<br>Jazzie looks at me and rolls her eyes. "What are you ordering?" she asks me.  
>I pull a little strand of my fringe out from beneath the billabong hat placed sideways on my head. I fiddle with it out of habit.<br>"Hmm, chicken tikka masala, pillow rice and a plain nan bread please" I tell Jazzie who nods then dials the local Indian takeaway service.  
>I snuggle deeper into the large armchair. I had woken up shortly after my operation earlier today, feeling oddly refreshed but slightly pissed off at the fact I had two very obvious stiches on my nose. I was going to look like an idiot for at least three weeks. I also had four small butterfly stiches in my ear and a dressing holding the back. But I could hardly complain my nose was looking just like before, not a crook or bump in sight. The doctor had done a great job of fixing it plus the pain was completely and utterly gone, not even a dull ache, absolutely nothing. Although the doctor said I had to be careful, apparently the cartilage from my ear is nowhere near as strong as my nose cartilage, so if my nose takes another blow, it'll take a lot more than an hour's work in the operating room. I had left shortly after, the hospital walls creeping closer and suffocating me. And that brought us up to just now, present time. We had just gotten home about five minutes ago after a happy ride home, singing at the top of our lungs to 'Mean Mr Mustard' by The Beatles. Mum had gushed at how proud she was of me and declared that I should choose what's for dinner. So of course I chose an Indian! That's exactly what we're doing now, ordering it.<br>Jazzie snaps her phone shut, "He said it should take half an hour or so"  
>I nod, feeling drained.<br>"You look pale" Jazzie notes as she looks at me with concern.  
>"Jazzie we've <em>just<em> got back from the hospital, give me time to recover from that freaky place!"  
>Jazzie chuckles before clicking the TV on and collapsing on the couch.<br>"No, Jazzie no!" I moan as she changes it to the music channel, moving the volume up as far as it will go. "I've got a headache!" I struggle to get up from the chairs comfort.  
>"Aw, Dougie! Stop being a drama queen, look it's Busted, isn't James Bourne fit?" Jazzie squeals as she starts to sing along to Thunderbirds.<br>I roll my eyes.  
>"Dougie Poynter!" mum shouts from upstairs.<br>"What?" I call back.  
>"Get up here now!" she orders.<br>I start to mutter unintelligible things under my breath as I stomp up the stairs.  
>"Look at this tip!" she exclaims, gesturing towards my room. I look at it carefully and realise it is quite a mess.<br>"You're not getting your dinner until you at least _try_ and create a path to your bed, understand?" she looks at me sternly, "Don't just think because you've been at the hospital means I'll completely let you off the hook!"  
>She shakes her head before lugging the hoover up to her room.<br>I turn around back to mine and puff out my cheeks. Bundles of clothing and music sheets litter the place. Glasses and dirty plates crowd every surface there is. There's a slight stale smell to the room and mysterious marks on the carpet. Curiosity burns at me as I look at the music sheets. I've been playing bass for two years now but had recently stopped, seeing as detentions and counselling meetings seemed to take up all my time. I pick up a music sheet at random. At the top is the title _Transylvania_. There's a full song written and I realise in surprise I wrote it. Maybe I did used to be good at song writing, I've never really noticed. I test my voice out, singing the first few lines.

'_Anne Boleyn she kept a tin,  
><em>_Which all her hopes and dreams were in  
><em>_She plans to run away with him forever…'_

I smile as my voice carries out the notes, and slowly the memory comes back to me. I'm sitting on the porch of our summer house in Calender. I have my light blue bass in my hands, and absentmindedly I start to pluck strings, then I start to sing. - Easy as that. I stayed there nearly all night, staring out at the huge waves that crashed down loudly.  
>I suddenly feel a loss as I realise how I've just abandoned my bass over the past year. I look around my room, yearning for it and find it propped up against my dresser. I lunge for it, knocking a bowl in my haste. Then there I am; I have it. I feel complete with the bass in my hand, like I've been looking for it all along. You might think I'm being cheesy, but you don't understand what it's like getting lost in the thick fog of music. Nothing matters whilst you're playing. You could play for hours and yet it will only feel like ten minutes.<br>I quickly turn around and shut my door before sitting heavily on my bed. I position my fingers, opening chord A then start to play softly. I'm not sure what I'm playing, it sounds like a soft melody, I just let my fingers take it away. Playing the bass is like exercising my fingers; you can tell they've missed it as they swiftly move to one note to another. The low notes of the bass are hypnotic, it's like the notes come from beneath your feet, slowly vibrating up your body towards the tips of your fingers. I find myself grinning away and vow never to put my bass back down ever again.  
>I pick up my notepad from underneath a pile of clothes. Suddenly I feel like I'm bursting with words. Through all what I've been through, experienced from the past couple of days, come pouring out. I find a pen and before I know it my hand is whizzing across the paper, filling lines and lines. My handwriting gets messier as I plough on. It's like a release. Almost like dam gates being opened and all the water gushing out. That's how it feels, like I'm opening the gates of mind and letting everything out. My hand comes to a stop. I look over what my hands have just produced, and then pick back up my bass. I try a few intros, 'A, C, C7' no, doesn't sound right. I listen to the words then slowly start an angry intro before it flattens out in to a jumpy tune, soaring high then bowing low. Feeling like I've got it, I start to sing along…<p>

'_I'm torn up inside, there's a hole in my mind  
>When your not next to me, so I hope you choke and die<br>On every single lie look what you've done to me__'_

I play harder, my fingers moving faster, becoming a blur. I'm so lost in the music, I nearly crap my pants when Jazzie clears her throat. I stop playing and look up at her. There's a spark of happiness in her eyes.  
>"You're playing again?" she asks excitedly.<br>Although I'm annoyed at her from interrupting me, I grin, "Yeah, I don't really know why I stopped"  
>She nods, closes the door gently then comes and sits next to me.<br>"I know why" she says quietly. I look at her in surprise.  
>"What do you mean?" I ask in bewilderment. She fidgets.<br>"I know why you stopped… because of what dad made you do" she says, this time so quietly, I can hardly make her out.  
>"I don't know what you're talking about" I snap angrily, "I stopped playing because I didn't have the time"<br>Jazzie purses her lips, like she's almost unsure of what she's going to say next.  
>"Dad…" she stops to look at me warily, "He made you collect and sell drugs for him"<br>I nearly drop my bass. Shock freezes my brain; I feel my mouth drop open. How did she figure it out, dad always made sure he was so careful? I shake my head slowly.  
>"You don't know what you're talking about Jazz" fury rages through my voice. I'm not necessarily angry at her; actually I'm not entirely sure who I am angry at, maybe nobody.<br>I stand up furiously, dropping my bass on the bed. I start to pick up clothes, trying to burn of my anger before I do something stupid.  
>"Jazzie just leave me alone" Jazzie's eyes follow me around the room as I start to tidy up; revealing carpet I never knew I had.<br>She stands up then gets on her knees. I watch her, not understanding at all what she's doing. She crawls under my bed.  
>I then realise, "Jazzie get out of there!" I shout, making to grab for her legs. She ducks to the side, before reaching her hand under my bed, and pulling something out that I had carefully hidden in between my mattress and bed frame.<br>There cupped in her hands are many bags of white powder.  
>"Explain how you got these then" she hisses. I look frantically towards the door praying that mum won't decide to walk in at this exact moment.<br>"Okay your right" I cry out in defeat. Jazzie keeps her face emotionless, no smug smirk, nothing.  
>"Why didn't you tell me or mum?" she asks her voice hurt.<br>I look at her, "I… I was trying to protect you"  
>I know it doesn't make sense, heck it hardly makes sense to me but if I had told mum and Jazzie or Mrs Scott or anyone for that matter they would have ripped us apart. Dad would have been taken away, it would have torn mum into shreds to think she hadn't been there for me and no doubt it would upset Jazzie, a lot. Yet, all that thinking was now irrational because in the end dad did leave us and here's Jazzie, the one I had tried my hardest to keep it from, who's completely discovered it on her own.<br>Jazzie shakes her head, a humourless smile playing on her face, "And at what point did you think it was fine for you to take the fall? When did you think it was okay you could handle this all by yourself? What on earth possessed you too play along, keep everything bottled up?"  
>I drop my head into my hands.<br>"I hadn't thought; I was stupid" I say to her, my voice muffled.  
>"Well you were stupid" I look up in surprise as Jazzie stands up with the drugs in her hands, glaring down at me, "You've wrecked your life! You've completely ruined Dougie Poynter! Your past has now been blotted out with bad memories and your future holds nothing! How do you expect to get a job with a record like yours? How do you expect to mentally recover from being dad's punch bag or little assistant?"<br>She makes for the door, hurt and confused I follow her.  
>"Jazzie what are you doing?" she stomps to the bathroom. Anger contorts her face as she opens the pan of the toilet. I watch in awe as she carefully opens each bag, flushing away the contents.<br>"I can't believe you just done that…"  
>"Why?" she snaps, whirling around to face me, still furious, "did you want them?"<br>I take a step back, feeling wounded. I turn and walk away. I honestly don't know what I've done to deserve this.  
>"No, Dougie no!" Jazzie grabs my wrist, "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"<br>I face her. "What exactly would you have done, if you were in my situation? You have no right what so ever to stand at the side lines and comment on what I've done wrong. Until you've lived through what I had to go through, you don't get a say in this. You're the one that's in the wrong, you knew what was happening and yet you never comforted me once, you left me to struggle it alone. So you can think I'm a coward all you want but at least I didn't leave someone to think they were completely worthless and helpless" and with that I slip away to my room, shutting the door and turning the lock. Then I slowly lower myself into my bed, watching my pillow grow wetter and wetter as the tears pour down my face.

Jazzie's POV

Three days it's been since me and Dougie argued. Or can you even call it an argument; it was me being a bitch. How could I have been so stupid? And he was right, he was so right, I was such a hypocrite. I hadn't known for that long but still I'd known and I had left him to deal with it. I had ignored it because I was scared, or as Dougie rightly said so, I was a coward.  
>It was two days until Dougie's birthday and me and mum were at loss as to what to get him. I want to find something that matches Dougie's bizarre and wonderful personality but which also shows just how sorry I am. He's spent a lot of time getting back into his music and playing bass although I know that a new bass isn't what he wants, he loves the one he's got now too much. I rack my brain but each time it comes up blank.<br>Mum runs a hand through her hair in a stressful manor.  
>We're standing in the middle of a shopping centre, a new one built just within Corringham.<br>"We could get him…" I bite my lip; my eyes scan the different shops surrounding us until… "Mum! I've got it!"  
>Mum turns around tiredly, looking at me, "What Jazzie?" she asks, stifling a yawn. She follows my gaze to the pet shop.<br>"A lizard, buy him a lizard!" I squeal. Dougie was completely IN LOVE with lizards, ever since he could walk and talk. I'm not sure what it was about them, I mean they were just any other ordinary animal weren't they? One time we had gone to the zoo, and there had been this special indoor reptile centre, he literally spent the whole time there. I had got fed up pretty quickly so I left him there, and by the time we were leaving he was still there, pressed up against the glass, mesmerised.  
>A slow grin spreads across mum's face.<br>"Jazzie you little genius!" We have to stop ourselves from running over to the pet shop so instead we walk extra slow.  
>Mum has been desperate to give Dougie the perfect gift. It will be his first birthday without dad around. It's obvious he's been struggling. I mean it's weird isn't it, when you hate someone and you want them out your life so much but when they do leave… it hurts. Of course Dougie hasn't openly admitted that he misses dad but it figures, he's now the only man left in the house with two females, two hormonal females.<br>We walk into the shop. It's quite overwhelming with the hundreds of cages and tanks stacked on top of each other, displaying the animals inside.  
>"Umm…" I look around for a shop assistant.<br>"Here they are!" mum states proudly, I walk over to where she's stood. My eyes take in all the different cages with all the different breeds of lizards.  
>"I never knew there were so many types" I breathe.<br>Mum nods, "And I never knew how bloody expensive they were!"  
>"But he deserves it mum" I say quietly.<br>"I know!" Mum sighs, "I never said he didn't once"  
>The shop assistant suddenly appears, smiling widely.<br>"How may I help you?" she beams, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet.  
>"We're looking for a lizard…" mum trails of looking at all the cages around her, "But we have no idea what breed to get"<br>The girl smiles knowingly, "Well, the younger the lizard is, the better because of course the longer it lives! And as for breeds, you want one that isn't too small but one not to long either… for instance Bearded Dragons are great as a calm independent house pet and only grown up to about fifty centimetres"  
>I look over at mum, she nods.<br>"That sounds about right, I mean you don't really want it to grow any bigger than that do you?" she asks the question but doesn't wait for an answer, "I know it seems a bit abrupt but I think to save us from a long day we should choose a Bearded Dragon"  
>"Sounds good" I reply whilst getting closer to the cage of Bearded Dragons. Mum tells me to choose one, whilst the shop assistant whisks her away to look at cages and all the other boring things. I feel slightly honoured to be single handily picking out Dougie's lizard that will be his pet for many years to come. I look at them all and soon realise it would be easier picking the cage. They're all so different! The baby ones are so cute I almost want one myself. I take a step back, looking at them all in the same view, before scrutinising them individually. Seeing them all, there's nothing special enough, nothing Dougie-worth. I'm about to tell mum we should go someplace else when I spot something move behind a log of wood. I freeze, scrunching up my eyes. Slowly the most beautiful little lizard I've ever seen crawls out. It's scaly skin sparkles in the light, not like any of the other ones. It has small eyes with little flecks of blue; their scarily similar to Dougie's.<br>I feel someone's presence behind me.  
>"Found one yet, honey?" asks mum, looking over my shoulder. I don't dare take my eyes of the little blue eyed lizard.<br>"I sure have!" I point to the little lizard.  
>"Wow, that's sure something" the shop assistant joins us. She opens the cage and gently picks up the lizard before putting it in the little cardboard carry box. Soon after, eager to get home we pay quickly; we're turning into our street.<br>"Do you think he'll mind that he's getting it two days early?" mum worries, whilst reversing the car.  
>I sigh, "Mum, you've got him a <em>lizard<em>, a real lizard. God, I think he might faint!" I giggle.  
>We walk into the house gingerly.<br>"Dougie?" I call. No answer.  
>"Go check if he's in his room" Mum urges me. I take the stairs two at a time before coming to his door. I knock but again there's no answer. I creak the door open and find his room (which he's actually kept nice and tidy recently) empty. I look over at his guitar stand. No bass. Where have he and his bass got to?<br>I go back downstairs to mum.  
>"Did he say he was going out?" I ask mum, worry starting to settle in the pit of my stomach.<br>Mum looks up from her phone.  
>"I've just received a text message from him" mum says frowning.<br>"Really? What does it say?" I mask her frown.  
>"It says: 'Hey Mum, I won't be back until tomorrow night, don't worry about me though, I'm safe. Love you'"<br>My eyes flicker to the clock: 3:26PM.  
>"Where do you think he's went?" I ask mum nervously.<br>Mum bites her lip, "I dunno, what if he's ran of?" mum asks me.  
>I shake my head, that's not true. Dougie would never do that.<br>"Mum why would he send you that text saying he'd be back by tomorrow night if he's bolted?"  
>Mum thinks for a minute, then nods.<br>"Your right" she agrees.  
>"Always am" I grin before grabbing an apple from the dining table. "Let's set up the cage"<br>I try and distract myself by building it up but can't ignore the queasy feeling that's started in my gut. What is Dougie playing at? Please don't tell me he's gone to a night club to get wasted or something. But then why would he take his bass…

**So the site's been acting up lately and not been letting me upload chapters**** Anyway, tell me what you think so far! Is it realistic enough?  
><strong>**And also in case any of you's were wondering me and Dougie had a wonderful valentines together:D! He's very romantic;)**

**Ta, ta! Much love as always PLEASE REVIEW xxx **

P.S, the lyrics in this story are performed by McFly and are (in order of appearance)  
>-Translyvania and<br>- Ignorance


	6. Your Words Are Like Bullets

**You Can't Bring Me Down**

**Well hello there****.**** Oh no, it's been ages, I know**** But I went back to school this week, and it's been really hard and I've been rushed of my feet and argh! I'm sincerely sorry that this is ONLY going up now, and the worst thing is, it's a seriously crap chapter**** please don't leave me guys, I'll work something out to fit time in to write, pinky promise?**** Anyway, I DO own McFly for the people who ask;)**** In fact Dougie says hey:P… enjoy…**

**Chapter Six **Your Words Are Like Bullets

DOUGIE'S POV

I had seen the poster not less than a day ago. It was pure luck. At first I thought, who am I kidding, how can I possibly go through with this? But then it dawned on me how much it would not only help me but mum and Jazzie too. So that's why I'm here, regretting ever seeing the poster. I'm in the longest cue known to man, it rounds about three buildings. There must be more than a thousand people here; all clutching a guitar or pair of drum sticks. The difference between me and everyone else though is that they all have someone with them, either a parent or friend, they're not alone, they have support. I could have had support if I had told mum and Jazzie but I didn't. I'm not sure why I didn't tell them. Maybe it's because if I failed at this, nobody would know but me.

I pull out the poster from my jean pocket for about the tenth time this morning. It's crushed, so I flatten it out before scanning down the words to see what time the auditions start.

'_Auditioning for bassist and drummer_

_Queens Square Hall_

_9.00AM – 5.00PM_

_The band currently has two members already, Tom Fletcher (18) and Danny Jones (17) both Guitarists and Vocalists. Tom Fletcher has already written many songs with James Bourne (Busted) and hopes with the help of Busted's record company to create a band whom will be topping the charts by the start of the new year' _

I fold it back into a small square before taking a deep breath. I'm really nervous. I'm not even sure why but it's gnawing away at me. I fiddle with my guitar case which holds my bass in it. Maybe I should just leave. I look down at the sticker on my chest that reads #145. I'm the hundred and forty fifth auditionee. I look around me again nervously. There's a guy behind me, with a slightly mullet cut hair style. His hair is light brown with blonde highlights spiked up at the front. He's wearing low baggy jeans, and a t-shirt with the band name 'The Starting Line' written on it. I absolutely love that band, one of my favourites in fact.

He notices me looking and smiles. I realise that he doesn't actually have anyone with him either; I'm not the only one alone.

"Hey" he says in a northern accent with a small smile.

I smile back, "Hi, couldn't help notice you have an awesome band written over your chest" I point to his t-shirt lamely.

He looks down and grins, "You like 'The Starting Line'?" he asks, making light conversation as the cue shuffles forward a few millimetres.

"There one of my favourite bands except from Blink 182 and The Beatles, because no-one can beat them!"

The guy chuckles, "I like your taste in music! I'm Harry by the way, Harry Judd" he holds out his hand and I accept it with a small shake.

"I'm Dougie Poynter" I tell him whilst releasing his hand, "D'you play drums?" I then ask watching as he pulls out two drumsticks and starts to tap a beat on the pavement.

"Yep, have done for about two years now" he changes the tempo of his beat so it becomes fast like a march. "You play bass?"

I nod.

"How long?" he asks, placing his drumsticks down and paying more attention to me.

"Since I was ten" I reply, then seeing his curious face, add, "I'm fourteen, going on fifteen in a day"

Harry's eyes widen slightly, "Wow, your young!" he cocks his head slightly, "Not that there's anything wrong with that!"

I laugh, "I know", I rest my guitar case on the ground, the weight starting to hurt my arms, "What age are you?"

"Seventeen" Harry informs, "Are you nervous?" he then asks, looking a bit scared himself.

"Shitting bricks" I admit truthfully. Harry laughs. "I'm now seriously regretting ever coming"

"That scared?" he asks all of a sudden looking concerned.

"You have no idea"

We spend about two hours just lazing about on the pavement, talking about music, family, girls, anything that comes to mind. It's not until Harry stands up do I realise we've actually entered the building. I jump up, my heart suddenly pounding violently in my chest. I can actually feel the colour drain from my face. Why am I doing this again? I ask myself desperately. I've never done something so rebellious before. I mean, leaving home and only giving mum a measly text assuring her I'm safe? I'm way out of my depth! It's not too late to turn back…

Harry poked me in the ribs, "That must be them" he whispers as two teenage boys, one blonde and cheery looking, the other with poker straight brunette hair and waves of freckles across his face, walk out of the gents toilet and into the main auditioning hall. My mouth falls open.

"That was Tom Fletcher and Danny Jones?" I ask in shock.

"Sure was" Harry replies, also in shock.

That's when I feel it bubble in the very bottom of my stomach. I clamp my lips down hard, as I push Harry aside, running for the toilet.

"Dougie, where are you going…?" Harry calls after me.

I burst into the toilets, relief washing over me as I realise it's vacant. I rush into a cubicle, dropping to my knees and clutching my stomach. I retch. It slowly crawls up my throat before I lurch forward, my sick sloshing down the toilet. I flush the toilet then sit back on my hunches. My breath finally turns back to it's normal state. I slip out of my cubicle then walk over to the sinks. I look at myself in the long mirror, not exactly liking what I see. I'm extremely pale, and look way younger than what I am. I can just feel it in my bones that I'm gonna muck up big time. I bend down into the sink, turn the tap on then drink some of the water, sloshing it around in my mouth to get rid of the taste of sick. Realising that no matter what I do, I'm still going to look and feel like crap, I return to Harry.

"You alright mate?" he asks, frowning at me.

"Uh… yeah" I wipe my sweaty palms on my jeans.

"Number #145?" A small woman standing before the hall door calls, looking around expectantly. I freeze.

"That's me!" I groan then pick up my guitar case.

Harry pats me on the back, "Good Luck!"

"You too" I whisper then nod at the woman as I pass her into the hall.

The hall isn't anything magnificent. It's just a simple hall. At one end there's a drum kit and amplifier, the other end holds a long table where four people sit. Two of them I can identify as Tom and Danny the other two must have something to do the record deal, I'm not sure. I carefully set down my case, calmly (even though I can feel the bile rising in my throat again) unzipping it then delicately lifting out my bass. I then face the 'judges'. God their intimidating!

Tom clears his throat then smiles at me, "What's your name?" he asks kindly.

I relax, but only a little. "Dougie; Dougie Poynter" I reply steadily.

Tom nods, writing it down on a piece of paper in front of him, "Your age?"

"Fifteen" I decide on. I mean my birthday's _tomorrow_, why say fourteen?

I see a shift in Danny's expression but they don't comment on my youth.

"And you play bass, am I correct?" Danny pipes in; looking pointedly at my light blue bass that I clutch with both hands as if it's my baby.

I nod, "been playing for about four to five years now"

Tom stops writing then sits back, "We're ready when you are"

I take a deep breath, and then place my fingers on the right chords.

As soon as I strum the first note I'm lost. All of a sudden I'm not in a hall, miles away from home, auditioning for a band in the hope to get paid a decent wage and help mum pay off debts. All of a sudden it's only me, there's no-one else, no Danny, no Tom, absolutely no-one. Any worries or nervousness I had before are gone, completely out of the picture. I decided yesterday that I would play 'Mean Mr Mustard' by The Beatles. Now I know what you're thinking, yeah it's a nice song but is it enough to get you into a band? A real band? Well maybe for some people not, but this songs means a lot to me… oddly, as it's about a guy that shaves in the dark to save paper. It was dad's favourite song, which soon adapted into the whole family's favourite song. Mum used to always have it blaring whilst preparing tea or we used to sing it when one of us was down. I had grown up to it, and although it's not one of The Beatles' best known songs, in my opinion it definitely has the catchiest tune.

I hum along softly as my fingers blur across the chords. I close my eyes thinking of all the times this song had been sung in our family over the years. There must be a record for this? Like, the most sung song? I'm not sure, but it fills me up with something. I'm not sure how to explain, it's like this happy feeling, a kind of lost feeling. I go through each verse, plucking each note as it comes.

Through the song I strive until the very last chord. I take my hand away from my bass slowly then look up shyly realising that I've just auditioned for a record company. I really am losing my mind. I take in all their expressions. They all look in shock. Is shock a good thing? Maybe I really shouldn't have come, I mean, I literally have no performing experience at all and…

"Wow" Danny breathes. He's sitting upright in his chair, his eyes wide, almost like a Meer cat. "Your about the best we've saw all week!" he gushes, shaking his head in disbelief.

I stand there, vaguely aware of my mouth hanging wide open. These guys are saying _I_'_m_ good? Am I dreaming?

"Definitely, Dougie!" Tom nods enthusiastically.

One of the other men sitting before me bows his head and whispers something in his ear. My stomach clenches. Tom whispers something back, and then Danny joins in. I bite my lip nervously.

Tom turns back around to face me, a big smile showing on his face.

"Dougie, this might seem a little abrupt to you but… you're really good, which of course you must realise and we doubt we can find anyone nearly as good as you. This is our last day of auditioning and we've saw some pretty talented guys but you've just got this… life about you! We'd be so grateful and honoured if you would join the band!"

Okay, I officially look like a fish. My bottom lip is practically touching the ground, that's how wide my mouth is open. I certainly of all things expected, did not expect this! Wait until mum hears! I mean I've made it in to a BAND?

"Umm.. Dougie?" Danny asks his brow furrowed.

"Sorry!" I snap out my thoughts, "I mean yes, yes, yes, obviously, of course I'll join!"

Danny and Tom grin at each other then get up and walk over to me.

"Well done mate, welcome to the band!" they embrace me into a hug.

After signing a couple of forms, all in a daze, and giving them all the necessary details, I walk out of the hall.

"God, you took forever! What did you do faint? Actually you do look a little pale, you feeling okay?" I look up to see Harry grimacing down on me.

"What? Yeah, uh sorry for taking so long but I, um, yeah… I got in" I force out.

"What d'you mean, '_you got in_'?" asks Harry in bewilderment.

"I mean, I'm the third member of the band!"

Harry's jaw drops. "No way, you lucky bastard! Now I better get in!"

I roll my eyes as Harry goes on a tangent about how it must have been my age and cuteness that swayed them…

**So, this is just a small chapter! Anyway this certainly isn't my best work, so sorry guys! Please keep R+R though! Loveyou people xx**

**Oh and P.S. I know it would have taken a lot longer for Dougie to be accepted into the band but…**


	7. I'd Like To Phone Her

**You Can't Bring Me Down**

**I am so sorry! You have no idea! I've been so busy lately, I know that might sound like a lame excuse but it is 100% the truth! I love you guys so much, so that's why I'm gonna make this Chapter a little bit more exciting for you's by introducing a new character:D my treat to you patient guys!**

**Chapter Seven** I'd Like To Phone Her Cause She Puts Me In The Mood

DOUGIES POV

It feels so weird that just under a week ago I was accepted into a band. A real band. With real people. And real instruments. You get my point? Soon I'll be leaving this crap hole and starting my dream life. It feels like it's all just a blur, especially as I sit here, in my English class pretending to read some poet's book. I know what you're wondering, how am I still even at school after being accepted. Well, let me ask you a simple question, have you ever met my mum? No way in hell, no matter how much she's proud of me for making the band would she let me of school without a good reason. I'm leaving in three weeks' time though. Just think about it; only three weeks: twenty one days! Finally!

I snuggle down, trying to get comfy in the hard plastic seat, smiling to myself. Nobody knows about me getting into the band yet, and for some reason I'm set on keeping it that way. I don't want anyone to know, Mum, Jazzie and Harry are the only people who do know, and that's enough for me. Did I tell you Harry phoned me a couple of days ago? Guess what? He got in as drummer! Thank god I kind of already know someone.

"Does anyone sit here?"

I snap out of my happy thoughts to look up and see an extremely pretty girl pointing down at the seat next to me. I look at the seat next to me dumbly.

"No, no one's sitting there" I reply smiling shyly.

She returns my smile, her one much more dazzling. She slips down into the seat elegantly. She's wearing the typical school uniform for a girl, skirt, knee high socks, shirt and tie. Her hair is a chestnut colour, like the colour of autumn leaves. It's tied up in a high ponytail, a couple of wispy strands framing her very beautiful face.

I'm not sure why she's choosing to sit next to me. As I scan the room, I see plenty more options but bite my tongue, not wanting to push my luck. We work on for a couple of minutes in silence (well me pretending to work).

"I'm Louise" she offers her hand suddenly whilst blushing slightly.

I take it, "I'm Dougie" we release hands.

"Is that short for Douglas?" she asks, while taking down the heading and date in her jotter.

"No, on my birth certificate it actually has Dougie but most people think that my real name is Douglas" I tell her.

"It's different... I like it" she flashes me a grin. She scribbles something down on what looks like a torn bit of paper.

We work in silence for a while more. She seems nice enough. She's one of those girls you feel comfortable around, not like some other ones where you feel you have to watch everything you say or do.

"So you doing anything this week?" she asks me in a straight forward manor.

I look up in surprise.

"Not that I know of, no. Why?" I ask, surveying her face.

"Well, I was just wondering if you wanted to get a coffee with me or something?" her cheeks turn a blossoming pink. I'm mesmerised at how her personality keeps swinging.

I raise an eyebrow, still in shock at her boldness, "Sure, why not. Don't think I have anything better to do"

"Great!" her smile is so wide it looks like it could quite possibly hurt her. She passes me a scrap of paper with numbers on it. "My number"

With that she gathers her stuff and swiftly walks away. I stare after her, my mouth hanging open. Did that just happen? I mean…

Someone slams down next to me.

I jump out my skin, cursing loudly. I few people throw dirty looks at me.

"Who was that?"

I turn round and find Paul frowning after Louise.

"Louise" I smile at how her name sounds in my mouth.

"Is she new?" Paul still has a deep frown buried in his forehead.

"Yep, and I already have her number!" I grin at Paul's amazed expression, "Learn from the Dougstar! See you later!"

I pick myself up; feeling high on life, and then slam out the classroom. I can vaguely hear Mr Sands calling after me, ordering me to come back but I shrug it off, my grin not faltering as I think about leaving this place in only three blissful weeks…

* * *

><p>"Dougie!" I hear mum scream. I set my bass down angrily wandering what the hell she wants now then stomp to the top of the stairs.<p>

"What is it?" I yell downstairs, tapping my feet irritably.

"I've just had a phone call from the school! Now get your skinny arse down here now!"

I growl before jumping down the stairs, two at a time. I walk into the living room where she stands glowering at me. If looks could kill, I'd be ten feet under!

"Sit down" she orders whilst gesturing to the sofa. I settle myself down, looking up at her innocently while she towers over me intimidatingly.

"What am I going to do with you?" she hisses angrily.

"I don't know? Why don't you start off with telling me why you've interrupted my practise and dragged me down here?"

I see her jaw clench, "When will you stop with the cheek? That's no way to address your mother!" she snaps.

I sink lower into the comfy sofa, realising she isn't in the mood to be pushed around.

"I've just came of the phone from your school" I wait patiently as she carries on in a forced calm voice, "They informed me you simply walked out of school during third period then reappeared for sixth, turning up like nothing was out of the ordinary!"

I lick my lips nervously. I really should be slyer when bunking off.

"Where did you go to? Where on earth could have been more important than school?"

I bite my tongue as I think of a smart comeback.

"Mum I had loads of practise to do, Danny asked me to write a demo song for him and-"

"Dougie! I've had it with you and your bass! I still can't believe that you're leaving school in less than a month! Haven't you thought what will happen if the band fails? Dougie, you have no qualifications at all, you have nothing to fall back on!"

I sit silently, trying to reason with what she's said. Why can't she understand? This is everything to me.

"Mum, soon I'm going to have my dream job! If the band fails I'll just have to get a less pleasant job! Why are you making everything so heavy and serious?"

"Hunny, you have to think about your future. Have you seen your school records? Those records will stay with you throughout your life. They'll be showed to companies you apply for. I'm just asking you, for these little days you have left at school, to figure out a secure plan B and to please stay out of trouble!"

I sigh heavily, wondering why all of a sudden she's being so pushy, "Yes mum"

She pecks me quickly on the cheek. I rub it stubbornly before returning to my room in a foul mood.

* * *

><p>My phone buzzes to life.<p>

"Dougie Poynter! Phones of in school!" my small French teacher squawks from the front.

How did she even know it was my phone?

I curse under my breath.

"What was that, Dougie?" she asks, looking increasingly angry.

"I said sorry miss" I lie.

She glowers at me until she trusts me enough to turn back to the whiteboard, writing up some crap I can't understand.

With skill, I soundly slip my phone from my pocket into my hand. I put it at an angle so it's hidden by the lip of the table:

**One New Message**

I open it up. It reads;

_Hey Dougie, it's Louise. _

Crap, I had forgotten all about her…

_I was just wondering if you were free tonight. You know, for that coffee I was on about? Louise_

Taking a quick glance at the teacher to make sure she hadn't seen my disobedience so far, I quickly reply.

_Hey Louise, sorry I've not called you; I've been busy all week. Sure, tonight sounds good; you got any preferences as to where to go? DP_

I drop my phone on my lap, waiting on a reply.

"Dougie have you even taken down the heading yet?" the teacher snaps, noticing my blank page.

"Sorry miss, was too busy listening" I grab my pen and write French at the top of the page. I'm not sure what the actual title is supposed to be, but mines seems appropriate enough.

"I bet you were" I hear her mumble under her breath, as she starts to write up more French verbs.

I feel a buzz against my thigh.

Using the same technique before, I angle my phone so it's out of view.

_Don't worry about it__Starbucks is fine for me? I'__m not that pick__y__ and it's closest__, Louise_

I send her a text back;

_Starbucks is great. Meet you there six? DP_

_Six is great! Don't be late, Louise_

* * *

><p>"Where are you off to?" mum asks me nosily as I come into the kitchen.<p>

"Just meeting up with Paul, if that's alright" I don't know why I'm lying but to think of telling mum I'm going out with a girl is painful.

"Oh, well you tell Paul I said hello, and ask him how his mum is! You's two used to be joined at the hip, I never see him anymore these days" Mum complains.

"He's just been busy, what with revising and stuff" I mutter incoherently.

"I bet… now have a good time and don't stay out too late, I want you at school on time tomorrow, okay?"

"Yes mum" I call as I shut the back door and step into the chilly night. I hadn't been sure as to what to wear, I mean it's kind of a date but we're going to a coffee shop. So I chose the casual look. A checked shirt, baggy jeans and high tops.

I round the corner, jiggling myself slightly to keep warm.

I step into the warmth of Starbucks, the smell of coffee hitting me smack in the face.

"Dougie, over here!" I smile as I see Louise waving me over. She's wearing skinny jeans and a strappy, body-hugging top.

I sit down, "Hey, sorry for being a bit late" I apologise sincerely.

"No, don't worry I was a bit early myself" she smiles that beautiful smile of hers. Somewhere, in the pit of my stomach, butterflies are let loose. "I've already ordered for us both, I hope that's okay?"

"No, that's fine!"

There's a moment of complete and utter awkward silence. My brain races at hundred miles per hour as I try and think of someway to fill it up.

"You're always so deep in thought" Louise notes.

I snap my attention to her, "Hm?"

"What do you think of in that head of yours?" she reaches forward and tousles my hair.

I laugh, her fingers leaving a tingling sensation over my forehead, "You know half the time I don't even though"

"Two passion fruit Frappacinos" the waitress appears, lowering two icy looking drinks onto our table, "Enjoy!" she exclaims before walking away.

"You must be bloody psychic!" I laugh at her in amazement.

"BINGO!" she screeches, a few people turn to stare at her. I laugh hysterically as she apologises to an old couple behind us, her cheeks a flaming red.

"Wheesht you!" she urges, a small smile playing on her lips.

I'm about to retort with some clever comeback when I recognise a voice from across the room. I look up in surprise as my eyes zone in on Jazzie and… no way. Josh. Josh Gregory. The guy that busted my nose! Jazzie's twisting a strand of her hair around her finger, giggling away in full flirting mode. Josh loves it, nearly purring at her. This is not happening.

"Dougie?"

I look down at Louise, instantly feeling guilty as I realise her slightly annoyed face. She must have been trying to get my attention for a while.

"Sorry, what?"

She rolls her eyes and pokes me in the ribs, "I said do you want to go a walk along the promenade?"

I grin, "Sure"

We get up, I help her with her jacket then we walk back into the cold night.

**So yup it's short and not as mega as exciting as it should have been but still it's there. Please forgive me! Review, I beg! Bye m'lovlies **** xxx**


	8. It Cheers You Up When You Feed It

**You Can't Bring Me Down**

**So this could possibly be the last update of this week… but I ain't saying that as a definite as a free space might open up in my schedule but just be prepared ****for a lack in updates**** did any that make sense:L? So here's a little bit more action for you's! And someone asked me when the rest of McFLY would properly come into the story and the answer is in about three/four chapters, so hang on! Anyway, enjoy…**

**Chapt****er Eight **It Cheers You Up When You Feed It

LOUISE'S POV

I shiver violently in my extremely thin jacket. The cold air of the sea rolls up and swirls around me. My teeth start to clank together. God, why does England have to be so cold?

"Here, take this"

I look up to see Dougie; his hand outstretched clutching his hoodie. I smile as he helps me into his thick furry jumper.

"T-t-thanks" my teeth chatter. He moves closer to me and then wraps his arms around my frame. I take a deep breath in of his scent. You can tell the difference between his cologne and his actual smell. It's amazing. How can I explain his smell… like shampoo… no, it's a _Dougie_ smell. His heat radiates of him, instantly warming me up. It's delicious and makes me like him ten times more; if that's even possible.

I had moved to Corringham over a month ago, yet everyone still considers me as the 'new girl'. I don't think Dougie even knew I existed until earlier this week even though I'm in all his classes. He seems to be there physically but his mind, his attention is far away else. Everyone has told me different stories about him, some ridiculous but others enough to make me wonder what on earth goes on inside his head? He looks like he's been through a lot. Does that make sense? I'm not sure but you can just tell when someone has had a hard time, it's in their eyes! – Yes I'm aware how cheesy that sounds.

Dougie's hand slips down my side, and then intertwines with mine. A flurry of excitement washes over me. Please don't be a dream, please no! We walk down the steep rusty steps to the beach. A big wave suddenly crashes against the wall behind us.

I scream.

Dougie laughs at me, "It's only water!" he shouts above the raging roar.

He starts to run, dragging me with him. I laugh as I trip and slide along the sand. He comes to an abrupt stop then collapses to the ground, letting go of my hand.

I smile down at him. He really does have the cutest smile I've ever seen, it's like a smirk, crooked and shy. But you know my favourite thing about him? Has to be his eyes. They honestly draw you in and hypnotise you! The startling blue is piercing.

He lies down in the sand, panting.

I lower myself down next to him, keeping my eyes on his peaceful face as I do so.

"That must have been the most exercise you've ever done!" I exclaim jokingly.

He peeks an eye open, halting my breath. He smiles his crooked smile, "That wouldn't be far from the truth you know!"

I laugh then lie flat on my back, the only view in my line of vision being the dull grey sky. Slow fat spots of rain start to fall.

I groan, rolling over onto my side to face Dougie's grinning face.

"Even better!" he shouts happily.

I roll my eyes, "You really do have a problem if you like all this depressing weather!" I yell over the noise of the rain hitting the sea. He shuffles closer into me, talking directly into my ear.

"You can get lost in the rain, it's mesmerising. You can forget your worries in the cold, cause all you're thinking about is getting warmer. In thunder and lightning you can think clearer, in winds you can be swept off to somewhere peaceful but what about on a sunny day? There's nowhere to run, you're exposed for everyone's judgment. When it's sunny you feel you have to be happy and when you're not you feel guilty. I like this weather because I _do_ have problems"

He smiles at me sadly. I look at him, my mind blown. He's possibly the most perfect person I've ever seen! He's so honest and open about everything. My heart goes for him, is it possible to fall for a guy on the first date? Because I just have.

DOUGIE'S POV

I like Louise a lot, even though I only know the basics about her. She's just so alive and happy looking. – And she acts like she actually cares about me.

"Come on, your freezing!" I shout to her after a while. I never knew that lying on a beach with a girl I've literally just met in the freezing rain could be so… enjoyable. She turns to me, pouting.

"I don't want to go!" she whines.

I laugh, "You were just moaning a minute ago! Now come on-" I stand up, attempting to brush off the wet clumps of sand that are stuck to my trousers, "unless you want pneumonia!"

She sighs, and then picks herself up delicately.

I take her hand again, something I'd never do on a first date but for some reason it feels right with her. I lead her to the steps, we climb them two at a time then shout goodbye to the beach.

"Do you want me to walk you home?" I ask her as we tuck into a portion of chips. We bought a portion to share from the Chinese shop just next to Starbucks as an attempt to warm up. I blow on to my hands, rubbing them together to try and get some feeling back into them.

"Sure, I'd like that. It's getting quite dark" she smiles then throws a nervous glance at the dark sky overhead.

"Oh sorry, do you have a curfew?" I bite my lip hoping I haven't gotten her in trouble with her parents. It would be my luck to have the parents hating me before we've even met, wouldn't it?

"No!" she laughs, "It's just quite a walk back to mine and there's some dodgy people around here!"

"Phew!" I laugh with her, "Thought I had gotten you into trouble with your parents or something!"

She watches me silently, picks a chip then pops it into her mouth. I look at her firmly set expression and wonder what's wrong with her. Her eyes are misted, like she's thinking hard about something.

"Did I say something?" I ask worriedly.

She glances at me, and then coughs awkwardly, "No, no…"

"Look, I ain't that very smart but I know when someone's trying to hide something, it's not like I'm unfamiliar with the concept!"

She looks up and straight into my eyes. Her eyes really are beautiful. Their green just like the grass. I've never seen such green eyes in my whole entire life!

"I don't live with my parents" she says quietly, bowing her head and breaking our eye contact.

"Oh" it's all I can say. I don't know what else there is to say.

She sniffles and that's when I realise she's crying.

"Oh shit" I mutter. I honestly don't know how to act when girls go all funny and soppy on me. Do they want to be left alone or what?

"It's fine you don't have to say anything, that's the best way to comfort a girl" Louise speaks, a small smile in her voice. Is she psychic or something?

I look at her slightly shaking frame, her pain becoming mine.

I sigh heavily, then bundle her into a great big hug, "Come here" I say softly.

She snuggles into me and lets out a few heartbroken sobs. Not once does it bother me that she hasn't told me the mum/dad living situation thing, I mean she'll tell me when she's ready.

After a while her sobs die down.

Then we walk hand in hand to her house.

Then when we arrive at her house we kiss in front of her door like in the movies. I get a giddy feeling in my stomach. Then I walk home, realising I've found that missing piece in my life. Then I go to bed, as the world starts to become a blur and all I can think about is Louise…

**So here ya go, it's short but there'll be more to come! It's hard juggling two fics at the once but I don't have much homework just now so I'm enjoying the challenge :) The end of this chap might seem to you written in a funny way but it's supposed to be like Dougie in shock? I know Dougie and Louise's first date is a bit fast paced but I just wanted them together already:L! **

PLEASE REVIEW:D?


	9. But You Can Take The Bluest Sky

**You Can't Bring Me Down**

**Hey wassaap:D? So here's a wee update for you! I think I might be uploading another chapter tonight and that's because I wrote chapter 9 seriously long and thought it would be better if I divided it into two? Does that make **_**any**_** sense whatsoever? Any way I'm really busy this weekend and all next week so… ration these chapters:D! **

**Chapter 9 **But You Can Take The Bluest Sky And Turn It Grey

DOUGIE'S POV

'CRASH!'

I jerk awake.

"What the hell...?" I mumble as sunlight blinds me.

"Your late!" hisses mum.

"Late for what?" I moan, snuggling back down into my bed and closing my eyes.

"For school! Don't even think about going back to sleep!"

The bed sheets are all of a sudden whipped of me.

I squint up at her angry form.

"Now you better be ready in the next ten minutes or I swear..." her unsaid threat hangs in the air chillingly. She storms out my room, slamming the door behind her.

"Ugh" I groan, do I always have to be woken up this way?

I stumble into my bathroom, crashing about whilst trying to find a clean shirt.

"Dammit!" I curse as I find my school uniform in a ball in the corner, old and unwashed.

I assess the clothes and realise the trousers are the only item that are going to be wearable. I pull on a black billabong t shirt, hoping that the teachers will act blind today. Not wearing the correct clothes to school is like breaking the law.

Once washed and dressed I make my way downstairs to find mum waiting at the front door, keys poised, ready to go. She purses her lips as she clocks my non-uniform clothes but doesn't say anything.

"I'm here, I'm here!" I mutter following her out to the car.

"All I ask is for you to go to bed at a reasonable hour and wake up when your alarm goes off!" she starts.

I roll my eyes, making myself comfy in the passenger seat.

"Yes mum, I'll try harder" I sigh.

She looks over at me wearily and quietly says, "And how many times have I heard that before?"

I sink low in my seat, closing my eyes.

Why doesn't mum get me? Why does she act like I'm from another planet? I'm her son for god's sake! There's no need for her to be so moody and restricted all the time. Honestly, you'd think that she had never been a teenager herself!

Then it happens.

I wish for dad back.

I hate being the only male in the family, I hate pretending everything's okay! Our families falling to pieces, mums stopped paying the bills, Jazzie's stopped talking... the list could go on forever!

I just want it to feel like a family again. I wouldn't even care if I had to deal with more of dads shit, as long as I could say I have a dad.

"Dougie wake up and get your ass in to school!" mum shouts, violently shaking me awake.

"Love you too" I breathe quietly, and then grab my rucksack of the car floor.

I reach for the door handle; I'm just about to haul myself out the low car when I feel fingers curl around my wrist.

I turn around to see mum, looking hopeless, "I do love you Dougie"

I look down at my scuffed shoes feeling embarrassed. She wasn't supposed to have heard me remark that comment.

"I know" I mumble in reply, feeling my cheeks burn up.

"Have a good day at school" she gently releases my wrist. Just as I think she's finished speaking to me she adds; "I won't be home after school, but there's a frozen meal in the freezer for you and your sister, okay?"

I look at her with a frown. A familiar feeling of anger flaring in my stomach starts up.

"Right." I say bluntly then slam out the car.

I wish she would either stay or go. She's been going out a lot lately, and any time I have asked where to, she completely avoids the question. She needs to pull her act together for Jazzie. Jazzie has no one just now; god knows what she must be feeling.

I slowly walk to the front door, dreading what lies behind it.

I squeak into the reception.

"Dougie Poynter" Mrs Hound growls.

I look up and smile sheepishly, "The one and only"

"My office, NOW!" she shakes with fury.

I follow her, unruffled by her hatred towards me.

She sits behind her desk, which is immaculately neat.

I perch on the comfy armchair before her.

"I'm afraid I'm at the end of my tether with you Mr Poynter. I tried to reason with you, treat you like an adult, I gave you plenty of opportunities to start a fresh and brush up on your behaviour but on numerous occasions you've just ignored this. The school has given you many warnings regarding your lateness also and I'm afraid, this situation is out of our hands. If you don't attend school and you are perfectly healthy, this is illegal. Did you know that Dougie?"

I nod, twiddling my thumbs.

"Ah, so you were aware of this law. Then you wouldn't think it out of order for me to book your parents an appointment with the court?"

My head snaps up, "What?"

"Your parents are going to have to go to court about your lateness and attendance Dougie. It has spiralled out of control and you refuse to accept any our help or advice. A letter and phone call will be sent to your mother and father, I advise that in the small week leading up to the court event you come to school on time"

I stare at her in shock. Mum is actually going to slaughter me. God, it's going to be in all the newspapers; Mother Kills Son with Bare Hands...

"You may go" Mrs Hound indicates to the door, her eyes cold and unemotional. I exit quickly then shake my head in disbelief. I'm in so much unbelievable shit...

"Dougie, so nice for you to have joined us!" Mrs Scott addresses me jubilantly.

I nod in acknowledgment then take my usual lonely seat at the back of her biology class.

Mrs Scott turns to the class and carries on with her teaching, "So can anyone tell me which side of the heart is oxygenated and which side is deoxygenated?"

Someone answers.

"And what colours in a diagram are these usually referred to as?"

I zone out, wishing the day away with every ounce of energy left in me.

The day draws to end, too slow for my liking. I nearly crash through the roof in excitement as the bell signalling the end of the day rings out.

I push past people, receiving dirty looks, crashing out the school. For some reason all day my minds been locked on Jazzie. All day. Maybe it's just my big brother instinct kicking in but I know with dad leaving, and mum slowly breaking down is really getting to her, badly.

I stop by the front gates, and scan the crowd urgently. That's when I find her, hugging Josh Gregory. I look away quickly but something keeps me waiting.

"Hey Dougie" I look up to see Louise.

"Hey" I grin down at her, "You get back okay last night?"

She blushes happily, "I did thanks"

"No trouble?" I raise my eyebrows.

She rolls her eyes, "Doug, you worry too much!"

I smile fondly at her nickname for me, "Maybe I do"

She nods, then stares at the ground awkwardly.

"We need to do it again sometime" I say boldly.

"Definitely!" her smile is beautiful, radiating from her, "I'll call you later?"

"I'll look forward to it"

She waves goodbye then walks off into the opposite direction.

"Who was that?" A timid voice asks.

I spin around to see Jazzie.

"Uh, nobody" I reply too quickly.

She smiles at me knowingly then links arms with me.

"I feel spoiled!" Jazzie nudges me,

"How come?" I ask.

"Well for starters my big brother decides to actually give me some of his time! What possesses you to walk home with your little sister?" she ponders me playfully.

I sigh, "Jazzie, you know I love you really!"

"Fortunately"

She smiles then unlinks arms with me as I struggle with the key into our front door.

"Where's mum?"

I look at her, "Um... out"

Her face falls, "Right"

"But hey!" I fling my arms around her desperately trying to cheer her up, "Means you've got me all night to yourself!"

She groans, "Great!"

I push her towards the kitchen, "Now get my dinner on, and a beer would be fab too!" I call after her.

She throws me a look then drops her bag on the kitchen counter.

"You are so unbelievably sexist, you know that?"

I grin, "Sure, whatever"

I flop down on the sofa then snuggle down, closing my eyes. I drift of into a peaceful sleep.

**So, that's Chapter 9, small but this is more a filler chapter for what's going to happen next. Next is going to be a little more action, I got the impression you guys like action:D? And one last thing, I think it was chapter 3, not sure, that I wrote an alternative for, it was just a draft but the chapter three I decided on actually uploading was nothing like it! So I was thinking maybe, at the end of this fanfic (don't worry it still has a very long time to go!) you's would like me to upload it for you's to see? It was more about Dougie with his dad and drugs… was just a wonder! Haha, so please…**

**REVIEW M'LOVLIES!**

**Your reviews make me smile, and make my day! **

**Thankyou so much for ALL the support so far! xxx**


	10. I'm Better Off Without You

**You Can't Bring Me Down**

**So here's a wee action packed chap! R+R much appreciated;)! Sadly Dougie Poynter is not owned by me although in my heart and mind he's 100% mine! We're also married so… **

**Chapter 10 **I'm Better Off Without You

JAZZIE'S POV

"How come I never see your dad around?" asks Josh, taking hold of my hand as we hop of the bus.

The bus drives of into the distance.

I look up at Josh and squirm.

"You don't want to talk about it, do you?" he notes gently.

"It's nothing more than he had enough and left" I shrug, trying to act like it's no biggie.

"That must have been hard" his eyes fill with sympathy, he draws me closer, as we walk along the high street.

"Yeah, but I think it had the biggest effect on Dougie" I shiver as the harsh December air whips through us.

Josh stiffens slightly. I still don't think he's gotten around the concept of me being Dougie's little sister. I'm not sure what happened between him and Dougie but it must have been some boy thing, alpha male crap.

"And how's that?" he asks, coming back to his senses.

"Well Dougie's now the only boy in the family. Dad and Dougie were really close as well, you should have seen him the day we found the note; he wouldn't talk to anyone, just stayed in his room. I guess he felt betrayed. Maybe he wanted to go with dad, I wouldn't blame him" I explain matter-of-factly, trying not to put any emotion into my words. If I tell it like a story then it doesn't have to be real, but if I start putting in my feelings that's when I'll start to break down.

"A note? What note?" Josh frowns, confused.

"Dougie was left alone after his operation-"

"What operation?" Josh interrupts.

I look at him oddly, what's with his sudden interest in Dougie?

"Dougie had to get an operation because he was in a fight with some guy, the guy busted his nose. His whole nose bone was smashed; he had to get cartilage from his ear to replace it. He's always getting into fights like that" I watch Josh's face closely. If I hadn't known him any better I would say it paled.

"No shit" he whispers.

"What?" I ask, what is it with him and Dougie? Honestly, boys can be so… over protective and big headed.

"So who found the note?" he seems lost in his own world, his face scrunched up, like he's thinking hard.

"Me and Dougie. Dougie felt guilty, because he must have fallen asleep when dad had left, he thought it was all his fault"

We walk past a vandalised park, a swing creaking in the wind.

"Why would he think it was his fault?" Josh dodges past a football.

"Well, if he was awake he might have been able to stop dad or something"

"So…" Josh furrows his brow, "You think it's Dougie's fault too?"

I bite my lip, fighting with the war in my head.

_Just be truthful _a small voice whispers in the back of my head.

"Yes" my voice comes out strong and harsh.

Josh flinches slightly then nods, ending the conversation. He checks his watch in an agitated fashion, like he can't wait to get away now, even though on the bus he was whining he never wanted me to leave.

"Here you are your highness!" He makes a grand gesture to my front door, which we now stand in front of.

"Thanks Josh, I had a really nice time!" I lean forward and he kisses me. I give him a quick hug, and then he starts to walk down the drive.

"Bye!" he calls when he gets to the bottom.

"Bye!" I call back then enter my house.

I shrug of my jacket then kick of my UGG's. I creep along the hall, grinning as I recognise a soft low droan. I follow the sound, which streams out the living room. I peek through the crack of the door, finding Dougie, sitting in the dark with his bass in his lap, notebook balanced on the arm of the chair and a pencil in between his teeth.

"Hey" I greet him softly.

He jumps, nearly dropping his bass.

"Hey" he smiles back, placing the bass gently on the ground.

"Have you eaten yet?" I ask, walking into the centre of the room.

"Yes" he says tightly.

"Dougie?" I force sternly.

"Jazzie, this demo song was supposed to be written and sent to Danny last week, to be perfectly honest food is the last thing on my mind right now! I have bigger things to stress about, like mum going to court, getting this damn song done, or where mum is in general! So if it's such a problem go make some fucking dinner yourself!" he snaps angrily, looking crazy as he grabs at his hair.

I blink at him in shock. Dougie's not one to raise his voice, or snap at someone without reason. Actually he's rarely ever stressed; he's probably the most laid-back person I know. – Or used to know. He grabs his bass angrily, and then slams out the living room, causing a picture to fall from the wall. I hear his footsteps stamp on each stair then him entering his room, cursing furiously to himself.

I sink to the ground shaking.

I thought Dougie was the only one I had left, the only sane one left. He's supposed to look after and protect me. Now who have I got?

I crawl over to the smashed picture frame that fell from the wall in Dougie's rage. I turn the frame over delicately, avoiding in cutting myself. I stare through the broken glass at the picture inside. It was taken three years ago, when we had gone to Spain for our summer holiday. Me and Dougie have our arms around each other, both sun kissed and happily grinning away. We both have our tongues poking out between our lips, a cheeky look in our eyes. I'm wearing a thin beach dress, the ones which you wear over your bikini when at the beach. Dougie's only wearing blue trunks, his tanned chest on show. As a joke we've swapped shoes, Dougie's always had small feet and I for a girl have always had strangely large sized feet, so we've usually been around the same size. Dougie's wearing pink sandals, with daffodils decorated up the side. I'm wearing black scruffy converse, even in the hot climate. Mum and dad are behind us, holding hands. They look so happy, completely oblivious to the mess that was yet to come. I remember the day so clearly, we had asked a random person walking by to take our picture as mum was in love with the scenery. It was quite nice, the startling blue sky and ocean, both so clear you could hardly tell when one ended and the other started.

Sleek, sparkling white yachts rested in the horizon. I don't blame mum for wanting to capture the moment. That was the last time we were all happy together. After that Dougie and dad started to disappear together regularly. Dougie changed, he become hard, coming home often with a black eye or bloody nose. That was the last time Dougie was Dougie.

DOUGIE'S POV

I storm to school.

It's way too early in the morning but maybe if I impress Mrs Hound enough she'll consider dropping the court events. I arrive at the school gates and look around in amusement. The playground is heaving, pupils bustling about everywhere you look. There's a buzz in the air, it's so busy. The only time's when I bother to ever turn up to school it's dead quiet, no one to be seen as there already in their classes.

I notice Josh ahead and try and avert my eyes. I'm not sure exactly what he and my sisters are, close friends and nothing more I hope. I don't even know how the two got to know each other, there's a few years age difference plus Jazzie doesn't hang about with any his friends. I near them, sadly there's no other way to get to the front door without passing them.

"Hey look Josh, it's Dougie!" one of Josh's friends jeers at me, nudging Josh. Josh looks up from his phone, his eyes finding me in a flash.

"Just leave it Don" Josh mutters, "he's not worth it"

I spin around and glare at Josh.

"Aw come on Josh, look you've hurt little Dougie's feelings!" Don mocks.

Don starts towards me but Josh grabs his belt dragging him backwards. Don looks at Josh in surprise, "What the hell dude?"

"I said leave him alone!" Josh hisses advancing on Don.

"Woah, okay…" Don sulks, backing off.

Anger sparks inside of me.

Why is he caring for me like this? He doesn't know anything about me. Why is he acting like my bloody dad all of a sudden? Dad. Oh no she didn't. That little big mouthed idiot! Jazzie's went and spraffed away to her new boyfriend all about dad leaving and Josh now feels all _sorry_ for me!

I turn and charge at Josh, he looks up in surprise before I smash into him, adrenaline thriving me forward. He grunts at my force and we both collapse to the ground. My hands enclose around his neck and he tries to struggle me off which results in us both rolling around the pavement like animals. He throws his fist forward, driving it into my eye. He pins me down, his knees digging into my forearms. I try to shove him off but his weights to great. He punches me repeatedly in the cheek. I kick out, setting him off balance which gives me the upper hand. I flip him over and punch upwards, aiming for his nose but instead catching his chin, his head smashes back which seems to only make him angrier.

All of a sudden it isn't Josh I'm hitting. It's dad; it's everyone that's ever failed or left me that I'm punching and kicking.

"Dougie! What are you doing?" I'm vaguely aware of someone screeching. I feel hands yank at my shoulders, trying to pry me away from Josh but Josh slams me down. I hear a cracking sound and groan. Pain shoots up my right arm. I lunge at Josh, fresh anger forming from me. I kick him full force in the kidney and he crumples, his face screwed in pain.

Somebody pulls me away from him.  
>I'm taking inside, god knows where to.<p>

They sit me upright against a wall. Someone else comes over, there voice raised and angry. I massage my temples and slowly my vision sharpens.

Mrs Scott's leaning over me, an antiseptic wipe in her hand, whilst she dabs away at my cheek.

"You really need to control your temper Dougie" she sighs. I wince as the solution stings in my cuts, "I've put forward the suggestion you start anger management classes"

My eyes widen at this. She notices, and shrugs.

"Well you seem to be going about with a lot of anger in you. In anger management you'll learn how to deal with it all, how to release it" Mrs Scott sticks medical tape along my cheek bone.

"Battering Josh felt good"

**A/N 'battering' means fighting, it's a slang word, and I think it is mostly used in Scotland! Sorry for my own words slipping in!**

I reply truthfully.

"I bet it did but you can't just go about punching people whenever you feel angry. Violence isn't always the answer you know!" she takes a step back, assessing her work.

"I know" I mutter, defeated.

"I've phoned your mum to come in to talk about your court dates and possible exclusion but she's at work-"

I frown. Mum's been out of work for months, there's no way she could be at any work. She told me she was taking a break, why would she be at work? She said she was looking for a better job, that she wasn't being treated right, or translated meaning that the hours were too long and she couldn't be arsed.

"-So I've offered to drive you to the hospital instead"

I groan. I don't think I can bear the whiteness and brightness of the hospital just now. Hospitals are my worst and about only phobia I own. Everything about them makes me sick to the stomach, the smell, the fake smiles and the fact that somewhere in the building there is a morgue. I shiver at the thought of rows and rows of unmoving bodies in bags…

"I thought you could bring along someone? Your sister maybe?"

I snap up to see Mrs Scott looking down at me with concern, "Um, I don't really want her to know about this"

"Okay then… what about Paul?" She starts to collect her belongings together, throwing her handbag over her shoulder.

I think of Paul. Fat lot of help he would be! Then someone's name dawns into my head,

"Actually… can Louise come?" I ask shyly feeling embarrassed.

Mrs Scott smiles at me, "Sure, I think I saw her waiting outside…"

Mrs Scott opens the door to a concerned looking Louise, worry etched across her face.

She jumps up and rushes into, what I now know to be the nurse room.

"Okay, perfect" Mrs Scott smiles then picks up her car keys, "Let's get you to the hospital and get your arm checked out!"

I look down at my oddly angled arm and sigh sadly. The pain is hardly there, I guess my bodies become used to injuries.

I try to get up but fail. Louise and Mrs Scott throw each of my arms over their shoulder then help me stumble out to the car.

We drive off, leaving rumours to spread around the school. All I can seem to think about is how I've messed up again. I lean back in the seat, both Louise and a very mothering Mrs Scott keeping a watchful eye on me.

"What hospital are we going to?" I ask dully.

"St Ravens" Louise informs me, squeezing my unharmed hand which she takes delicately.

I freeze.

"Why not Judes Road?" I ask, trying to keep the nervousness out of my voice.

Mrs Scott frowns at me from the rear view mirror. "Dougie, St Ravens is like an hour closer, why would we go all the way out to Judes Road?"

I start to go clammy.

"Dougie are you okay?" Louise asks, noticing my discomfort.

"I'm fine" I swat her concern away.

I don't want to go to St Ravens. They know me in St Ravens, that's the hospital dad used to always take me to, I can't go with Louise and Mrs Scott! I'll surely be recognised.

One rule I made a long time ago was never to let my personal life get out, Mrs Scott already has her qualms about me, if she realises I'm well known at a hospital, she'll put two and two together then…

Social services here we come.

**So BOOM there's another chapter for you;) I'm not sure if you like it? I don't know if you think it's a bit much, what with Dougie in another fight, and another trip to the hospital and all so please tell me your thoughts on it! Dougie will soon be leaving school though, so to some of you's that'll ****be interesting? Or I don't know:L… also if you have any idea's that you think would fit into this story then **PM **me them****, to help with the flow of the story:D! Really hoped you's enjoyed..**

**PLEASE REVIEW I BEG:D! xxx**


	11. I'm Doing Just Fine

**You Can't Bring Me Down**

**I'm on a roll, the ideas are pouring out! Enjoy my little happy readers;)**

**Chapter Eleven **I'm Doing Just Fine

DOUGIE'S POV

Mrs Scott gently holds my elbow, directing me towards the reception desk. She leans across it, talking to the nurse in a low voice, explaining what's happened. Louise stays by my side, clutching my left hand. My arm is in so much pain, it's hard to focus on my surroundings, I think I would do just about anything to stop the pain. You'd think, having already broken my arm twice before I'd at least expect the pain, or to not be surprised by it but trust me, never underestimate a broken bone!

A doctor appears out of thin air, walking over to us. Thankfully I don't recognise him, lucky!

"You must be Dougie Poynter! We'll clean up your cuts then take you for an x-ray" he smiles down at me, "If you could just follow me"

I keep my head down, trying to keep my eyes glued on to my scruffy vans. There's two reasons for this, one being I hate hospitals and the other been the simple fact of trying to become invisible. The last time I was at this hospital I had had a serious case of concussion. It was so serious they had feared I may have woken up with amnesia. I proved them all wrong though, and pulled through, sticking my middle finger up at the statistics of me having brain damage. I've never been back to the hospital since then. Before the concussion incident, I came nearly every month. At first the hospital and doctors were concerned things were happening at home, so they sent forces around on a surprise visit to check everything was in order. They didn't find anything, although they did find me back at the hospital the next day with a badly beaten body and fractured rib. I told them I had fallen of my bike. I hadn't of course; the simple reason being my dad had beaten me up. He jumped to the conclusion that I must have told someone at school for people to be nosing around our house, so he punished me. The hospital dropped the investigation and accepted I was a very clumsy child.

"Dougie?"

I look up to see everyone looking at me with concern. I realise they must have tried to get my attention a few times.

"Sorry" I mumble, kicking at the ground.

Louise smiles at me sympathetically.

"I was just saying you'll need stitches in your cheek" the Doctor explains, rummaging about in a drawer. We must have arrived in his office a while ago, not that I would have noticed. I'm so paranoid about somebody recognising me it's unbelievable!

The doctor gestures for me to sit down on his comfy chair. I obey him and hardly feel the pinch as he inserts the needle into my cheek. He threads away, I look around me trying to ignore the fact that my most feared object is currently being weaved in and out my cheek. My eyes land on Louise. I focus on her closely. I watch intently as she gazes back in to my eyes. Her eyes are beautiful; I could look into them all day…

"There you go! Your no fuss at all, such a nice change compared to some of the people I have to stitch up" he pointlessly informs me. "Now, let's take you through to the x-ray room"

After an hour or two waiting I'm finally seen to. Apparently there's a clean snap in my humorous bone, even though the pain's coming from lower down. I'm given a cast and told it can't get wet, that I'll need to wear a plastic bag around it in the shower that it will be taken of in six weeks' time and so on and so forth.

It's when we're exiting the hospital, when I think I've gotten away, when I think no-one's identified me, it happens.

"Dougie!" someone gasps. I cringe and slowly turn around to find a familiar faced Dr Crescent standing before me, a surprised expression etched on to her face. "I haven't seen you in ages! Last time I saw you must have been a year ago, what was it that had happened again? Was it not a head injury? Or was that the time before?"

I shift my weight from foot to foot, wishing for a hole to open up in the gleaming hospital floor and swallow me up. I hate being put on the spot, or having any attention directed towards me at all.

I cough nervously, "Yeah, it was a head injury" I try not to give too much away and avoid eye contact with her.

She spots my cast and clucks her tongue against the roof of her mouth, "What have you gone and done now, you silly sod? That's the third broken arm you've had!"

My eyes flicker to Mrs Scott and Louise's shocked expressions. This is obviously news to them.

"Um... I was in a fight at school" I mutter, feeling like nothing could possibly get any worse.

It's quiet for a moment as everyone digests this information. I know it's given Mrs Scott a lot to think about and I can certainly tell Louise has plenty of questions for me to answer.

Mrs Scott jumps in on cue; "I'm his Biology teacher, Mrs Scott" she fills in the awkward silence, shaking hands with Dr Crescent.

Dr Crescent smiles politely.

"You seem to know him well…?" Mrs Scott attempts to start a conversation up.

Dr Crescent looks at me fondly, "Yes, Dougie was hardly ever out of this hospital! I was assigned his personal Doctor, anytime he came through those A&E doors I was called to take care of him!"

Mrs Scott nods, looking deep in thought, Louise just looks completely confused, and I don't blame her.

"Well I really must get Dougie back, everyone will be getting worried" Mrs Scott excuses us all.

Thank god, I could actually hug her. I think she might be psychic?

"Bye Dougie, stay out of trouble!" Dr Crescent calls after me. I turn around and give her a small wave.

"Will do!"

We walk out to the car park in silence, none of us knowing quite what to say. That wasn't to happen; Louise and Mrs Scott weren't supposed to be exposed to my personal information like that! Why does Dr Crescent have to be such a bloody big mouth? Or why did I have to go fight Josh over nothing and end up at this stupid hospital? I grimace at the thought of having to face mum when we get back, she'll be completely fuming. We get into the car and pull away from St Ravens; hopefully it's the last time I'll ever have to visit this sinister place full of so many chilling memories.

**I know it's short but I felt bad for leaving you on that cliff hanger like that so thought, what the hell, I'll reveal a little bit just to relieve your minds:D!**

**Although it's short, please don't forget to review my oompaloompa's!**

**Thank you xxx**


	12. Living In A Fantasy

**You Can't Bring Me Down**

**I feel terrible:O not as in a cold, but more of the fact I've left you's all hanging for ages! I'm so sorry! A few times I've gone to update but instead experienced MAJOR writing block. I'm going to try and get back into the swing of things and update at least once a week. Hope you all had a chocolate filled Easter and enjoyed the holidays! Much love xx**

**Chapter Twelve **Living In A Fantasy

DOUGIE'S POV

Mum knew about the fight. She had been given three phone calls. The first one informing her I was at the hospital. The second happily explaining I had been involved in another fight and the third joyfully arranging for mum to come in and have a meeting with the guidance department. Whilst Mrs Hound and mum (on the other side of the phone) talked about my future I sat out in the corridor, outside the heads office, catching snatches of their conversation. Of course, I could only hear one side of it. All I got was a lot of 'disgraceful manners', 'filthy attitude' and 'disruptive behaviour'.

I waited out in the lonely corridor for at least forty five minutes. My arm wasn't sore anymore; breaks rarely are after being seen to. My phone had been confiscated, and in return I had been given a maths textbook. I hadn't even opened it, my education was ruined as it was, it was too late to try and get back into Mrs Hound's good books. One thing that was definite, I would never be returning to this high school. All I had left now was the band but even at that, what if it failed like all other things I've ever been a part of? And then there was the small problem mum probably wouldn't let me attend rehearsals. Knowing mum, she'll be booking me into night school just as we speak.

"Dougie"

I looked up to see Mrs Hound standing over me. She didn't look angry for once, instead her face was emotionless and if I didn't know her any better I'd say there was a hint of sympathy.

"I'd like to see you in my office now" she gestures to her office. I unsteadily rise to my feet from all the exhaustion and drama I've been through in the last few hours and follow her into the small insignificant room.

There's another young woman, petite and fragile looking, sitting in my usual seat. She has auburn hair swept back into a knot, and wears a white cotton dress.

"This is Sylvia" Mrs Hound announces then pauses, almost for dramatic effect. "She's a counsellor"

My eyes narrow instantly, and I feel heat flare in my cheeks. I grit my teeth angrily.

"I don't need a counsellor" I reply stubbornly, looking out the window and avoiding both the females' gazes that desperately try to catch my eye.

"Dougie" Mrs Hound speaks softly; I turn around, surprised by her kind voice. It sounds almost like she cares. "It's just something we want to try. We're not saying anything's wrong with you. Your mum and I have both agreed that you need to learn how to control your anger. You don't need to tell Sylvia anything if you don't want to, all you need to do is listen to her advice"

I cross my arms and shake my head vigorously, "You can forget it. Just file the exclusion and finalise the court dates then I'll be out of here thank you very much"

Mrs Hound takes a deep breath, and then lowers herself carefully into the big leather chair. I stay standing by the door, refusing to acknowledge the counsellor. Her green eyes linger on my face until they drop.

"We've dropped the court dates, Dougie." Mrs Hound states.

I do a double take, Chandler Bing style.

"W-what do you mean?" I frown, my ears perking up and starting to listen.

"I mean that I have personally cancelled your mother meeting with government education officers"

I stay silent, willing her to go on.

"For just now, all I ask from you is to attend school. Your mum also informed me that you were leaving school next week and joining a band?" I nod, "We've phoned up your band mates and asked them to hold off for another month or two-"

"You can't do that! You've got to be kid-"

"Dougie! Legally your mum still has the decision of you staying in education or not. Your only fifteen and would need a guardian's signature to leave school. Your mum's not allowing you to leave next week. Another month won't kill you! Stay and work with Sylvia, you never know what will happen"

I throw her a glare, "Well if that's everything, I'd like to leave"

Mrs Hound and Sylvia exchange a glance before I exit the room.

I stay for a moment, to hear Sylvia ask, "What an earth happened to him?" then storm out the school to face the monster awaiting at home.

**It may seem a small and insignificent chapter but dont worry.. it leads to somewhere:L and also i know its taking a while for harry, danny and tom to enter the story but this is a 'before the mcfly' fanfic. I might make a sequel, showing mcfly's early days if you want! Please still review and love me, I'll try and update tomorrow/monday! xx**


	13. Yesterday You Asked Me

**You Can't Bring Me Down****  
>I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. So sorry. <strong>**  
><strong>**  
>Chapter Thirteen <strong>Yesterday You Asked Me

DOUGIES POV

I creep along the front hall. The stairs are in reach, I stretch my unbroken arm forward, if I can touch the banister then I'm safe. Like the elegant ballerina I am, I tip toe a step forward. I poise my foot upwards, ready to take the plunge and go on 'staircase' territory. My foot, in slow motion, starts to come downwards, downwards, downwards…  
>"DOUGIE!"<p>

I wince. I was so close.

"Yes?" I call out innocently.

"Come into the kitchen, NOW!"

I slide my school bag of my shoulder and let it drop to the floor.

"How can I help you?" I cheekily greet my mother whilst entering the small dining room. There's paperwork strewn all over the small wooden rounded table.

"Don't start that with me!" Mum's orders, her voice sounding like a cracked whip. She rises upwards from where she sits around the table, and although she may be smaller; she is definitely scary.

"What do you call this?" she gestures to all the envelopes and paper on the table.

"Ehh… paper?" I shrug.

"Dougie, cut it out! It is in fact all of the paperwork I have to fill out for your little hospital trip! I thought all these bumps and bruises were over? In the past? Surely, you've grown up enough to realise that visiting the hospital or fighting isn't going to make you look 'good' or give you the attention your seeking for!"

"I'm not seeking for any attention Mum!" I sigh exasperated, if only she understood how much I wanted to be left alone.

"So what's with this!" she points to my bandaged arm.

"It was just a little misunderstanding I had with another boy" I state simply.

"The same boy who broke your nose?"

I frown, "What does it matter to you?"

"Dougie, it matters a lot! You never used to be like this! I just want my son back! Can't you understand this is hurting me? That it's affecting Jazzie, our family?"

She watches me intently, waiting for an answer or some sort of acknowledgment. I wait, trying to see if I actually understand her point.

"What family?" I ask honestly, "There isn't one"

The room drops to complete silence. I hear mum take in a rushed breath.

"Doug-" she stops, and clears her throat like she's struggling, "That hurts. I have been trying _so, so_ hard since your dad has left us, since my husband has left me. It is so hard to be a single mum with an out of control son! I can see your hurt but your just pushing everybody away" – she sniffs, "I'm always here for you. I always have been. Please-" she breaks down and starts to sob.

I bite my lip. Have I actually been making mum this upset?

"Mum…" I start, and take a step forward before awkwardly putting my arms around her. I don't give the best hugs, and maybe it's because I'm not used to giving them. She clings to my back, and carries on crying, creating a puddle of tears on my school shirt.

After a while mum calms down. It's like it's all in the past now. We seperate easily. She realises the time and gets cracking with dinner, leaving me wounded. I feel like I've been winded, punched in the gut. It's like I can't breathe, from all the heaviness from today. And I'm in shock. Big time. I didn't realise mum was so hurt.

Mom apologises, but mostly just for the wet mascara stain on my left shoulder. She gives me an affectionate pat on the shoulder then goes back through to the kitchen to check up on the potatoes.

I wander through to the living room and try and settle in the couch. I desperately try and get myself interested in the pointless documentary about penguines but it's just no use; I'm too agitated.

"I'm just going to nip out for a minute mum, see if Jazzie's around" I call through to mum.

"Okay" she calls back, "but don't go far, dinner's nearly ready"

"Right, got it"

I open the front door and disappear out it. The wind picks up and swirls around me dramatically.

I make for the park, only making a half-hearted attempt to look for Jazzie. After what happened today, what with me fighting, I'd guess she's went to a friends to hide out for a while. She probably doesn't want to see my face, deal with me just now.

In the centre of our estate lies a park, probably at some point in it's early days it actually functioned but nowadays the swings are missing, and beer bottles litter every inch of the ground. I sit down at a half burnt bench, and take a breath. A proper breathe. I feel like I've been holding in my breath all day long. Finally, now it's all out.

A group of boys pass, in grey joggers and hoodies scuffling a deflated football between them. I watch them distantly as they cross the park. If the council had any sense, they'd remove this park or just make it a playing field. There is completely no use for it.

I lose myself in my thoughts, thinking about the new people I've encountered today, like Sylvia… and the fact I've made up with mum. I think? I'm not sure but hugging seems like a step forward…

"Dougie?" A raspy voice whispers from the trees.

I jerk awake from my thoughts. My eyes scan along the trees but find nothing. It must have just been the wind whistling…

"Dougie! Dougie!" I catch movement amongst the bushes. I get up uncertainly and head towards them.

"Err, hello?"

I draw closer to the bushes, my heart rate starting to pick up a bit.

Closer and closer I get.

The whisperer stays silent. Maybe it was the wind after all?

I yelp as someone grabs my ankle. They yank on it, causing me to crash in a heap on the ground. My head slaps against the ground, making my vision become blurry. They pull me under the leafy coverage, out of view.

"Long time no see, Doug"

I recognise that voice too well.


	14. I Never Meant The Things I Said

**You Can't Bring Me Down**

**Lately I've been hard at work planning future You Can't Bring Me Down chapters. Just now, I'm only focusing on this story. The others fanfics I have are not forgotten about and WILL be finished. Everything's a mad rush at school just now as all the teachers are cramming in last minute tests and whatnot but it's so unbelievably close to the summer holidays and then I will be back to my twice a week updates! This story is going to be quite long I'm beginning to think, what with all the ideas I've got in store! If you're still reading this fanfic then I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! This chapter is a little bit pointed in the other direction but I promise you; I know what I'm doing and it will at the end all come back to McFly;)!**

**Chapter Fourteen** I Never Meant The Things I Said To Make You Cry

DOUGIE'S POV

The first thing I register is a high pitched whistle. Like a train or… someone screaming? My head aches at the back and my mind feels cloudy, almost as if someone's wrapped it in cotton wool.

My senses slowly start to return to me. I'm lying down on something soft and there's a fresh smell in the air, similar to new furniture or a newly hovered carpet. I tiredly open my eyes to reveal my surroundings. I sit up carefully, and frown at the unfamiliar room. On one wall is purple and pink swirly wallpaper, the other three walls are a soft cream colour. Opposite me where I'm sat on a brown leather sofa is a plasma telly propped on the wall by a bracket. The volumes on low and the telly shows the end of a film, the credits rolling of the screen. In the corner is a cream leather recliner armchair. There are other various decorations filling the room, giving it the air of wealth such as a glass coffee table in the centre of the room, or the creamy golden silk curtains and low hanging chandelier.

"Thank god, your awake!"

My neck snaps around, nearly giving me whip lash. My bleary eyes focus on my dad standing in the doorway.

"Dad?" I croak.

Dad smiles fondly, "Son, it's nice to see you. I'm sorry for the way Grant tackled you down at the park earlier, you know what your cousins like, he gets a bit carried away"

I laugh, I know Grant all too well. We grew up together, joint at the hip. It was only when he started at a new secondary school did we separate and see less and less of each other.

Grant barges into the room, narrowly missing dad.

"Dougie!" he bellows, and picks me up into a bear hug, "I was beginning to wonder if you were still alive!"

"Same goes for you mate!" I clap him on the back.

I sit back down and he joins me on the brown leather sofa.

"So is this your place?" I ask Dad, looking around me in wonder.

"It sure is" Dad grins.

"But how?..."

"I was promoted" Dad winks at me. For any other son or daughter, hearing your dad had been promoted surely would be a good thing? If it was in a good job. My dad being 'promoted' just meant he had upped it in the criminal scene.

I frown, "Dad I don't want you getting caught, the higher you go up, the harder you'll come crashing down if your found out"

Dad picks up what looks like a gin and tonic from the glass coffee table and takes a delicate sip, "Son, you worry too much. The higher you're rated, the more gadgets and the more efficacy you have when carrying out a plan. Dougie I'm in such a better place now! We used to be such amateurs, we used to know nothing"

I give him a long hard look.

"Why did you kidnap me anyway?" I snap, my mood changing suddenly, "Why did you bother, hm? You just walked out the door and now you beckon me into your big fancy apartment. Do you really think I give a shit? I'm still holding onto all the drugs you gave me, do you know how terrifying that's been? I've had no one to trust or to save my arse if the police come snooping around!"

I huff, out of breath.

"Dougie for goodness sake, I've only ever been a phone call away! Don't act like I abandoned you! I've brought you here to get back into the business, to train you up, teach you some new tricks!" Dad clarifies his face becoming animated.

"Dad, I never once said I wanted to get into all this crap-" Grant got up with a sigh, evidently bored with all the arguing- "I want to go back home, to mum. Next time _ask_ me before knocking me out, okay?"

I get up and make for the door.

"Dougie!" Dad growls at me. He grabs my wrist, locking me into place.

I look into his deep sea green coloured eyes. "We started this together so we will finish this together. No son, and I mean _no_ son of mine will walk away from me. We're family it's in our blood. Don't try and pretend you're better than me because you grew up with this, don't throw it all away now"

"Don't manipulate me into this!" I hiss, trying to release my hand from his grip.

Dad slams his glass down and brings his face up to mine, millimetres from touching. He grabs my other wrist and grasps them both so tight it becomes painful. I wince.

"Let go Dad!"

"You are not going anywhere so don't try and struggle, there's no point in losing energy. Don't you remember what happens when you disobey? When you start to give me attitude?"

"I'm fifteen now, you can't do anything to me, I'm free" as soon as I say it I regret it. An evil twisted smirk creeps onto his face.

"What was that little Dougie?" He starts to bend my unbroken arm backwards. "You won't be able to do much with two broken arms will you?" he cackles.

I grit my teeth and try to take the pain, try and do the opposite of what he wants me to do. He bends it further and further backwards. Tears start to prick at the back of my eyes. I bite down hard on my tongue.

"Okay, okay, I'll do it, I'll do whatever you want me to do!" I yelp, caving in.

Dad relaxes letting go of my arm, I caress my arm as it shakes in pain, "That's what I thought. Now there's a good little boy"

He takes a step back, "We're having a meeting with the guys in five, so get ready, and we've all prepared a little job for you"

He takes another step backwards and looks at me, cocking his head to the side.

"I wish you would listen to me, so I wouldn't have to hurt you" he smiles sadly then gives me a small pat on the head. With that he turns and leaves the room.

I take a deep breath and assess my arm. There doesn't appear to be any damage, I was lucky for once. I take another shaky breath and sink to the sofa. What shit have I went and involved myself into now? Maybe if I wasn't so intimidated by Dad, so weak I would be able to escape but no I am weak, worthless wimpy and weak. And I'm trapped and no doubt going to be their new little puppet. There's no way for me to get back home to mum. I close my eyes and think of my cold dinner waiting on the kitchen table back at home. How mum will be pacing and tutting and wondering how, after we had just talked could I go and betray her. But I've not betrayed her, have I?

I hear footsteps then dad appears again, beaming, "Come on son, let's go meet the lads"

I grin back at him, and try to forget my worries. He's just my dad, if I do as I'm told he has no reason to hit me, right? Butterflies tickle the inside of my stomach as I think of meeting all the guys. If I forget about mum and Jazzie and Sylvia and school… then this could be home.

He ruffles my hair.

"Am I glad to have you back!"

He rests his hand on my shoulder and guides me downstairs into the basement. I slow down before approaching the door. Dad senses my hesitation and spins me around, "I know it's been awhile but it's just all family in there, we're all here to support each other, we've all you got your back"

I nod and take a big gulp before dad creaks the basement door open…


	15. Don't Wake Me Up

**You Can't Bring Me Down**

**Chapter Fifteen **Don't Wake Me Up

DOUGIE'S POV

"Dougie!" someone screams and slams into me, strangling me as they bundle me into a tight hug. I separate from the person to identify my cousin Courtney.

"Hey, Courtney!"

I look up to get a view of the room. It has a low ceiling and low hanging red lights, giving the room an eerie glow. In one corner is a pool table and in the centre is an extremely long table with bowls of crisps dotted about. Looking around the table I feel a stab of emotion.

This was my family.

Jim, my bald uncle. Claire, my sweet and caring Auntie. Jared my older daring cousin with half his head shaved. Scott; dad's friend's son who I used to spend so many days with. Here they all were sat around the table looking up at me.

They looked as if they were waiting for me to say something. But what could I say? I had left them. Back when things got dangerous mum took me aside and told me it was over. That she had spoken to dad and it was fine, I was out. At first I had been livid, how she dare take me out of something that was making me finally have enough cash to buy things I wanted. Something that made me come across cool? But I soon realised that it would be alright. I didn't _need_ the money. Yes it was a nice privilege, but as nice a privilege to risk my life? Finally I could relax; I could sleep soundly at night. For the first time in ages I didn't hide myself when I saw a police car or tense up. Instead I gave a nice wave or nod. Because why would they have any reason to arrest or talk to me? I was done with criminal business, it wasn't worth the hassle. But leaving my 'job' or 'hobby' meant leaving everyone I had grown up with. Dad's side of the family weren't exactly perfect and they weren't known for their manners either. Generation after generation they had all stole or cheated for wealth. When I was younger I was brought up to see it as only being fair. Not everyone could be born into a naturally rich family. Dad started involving me in plans as soon as I turned ten. At first it was nothing big although I soon became Dad and the guy's secret weapon. My young and short body was small enough to fit me into spaces and places none of the others could get into. I was good for spying or pickpocketing. I was the most vital member of the whole group. I didn't mind any of the jobs they dished out to me until it started involving drugs. That's when I wanted out myself. I knew then that it was starting to get serious. I couldn't understand what drugs had to do with the wealth and health dad had always sugar coated me in. I told dad I wanted to leave. I didn't expect to be let off easy but what I was given was nothing I would ever have thought of my dad to do. He had cornered me and threatened me. He had seemed so angry and stressed. His face red, a vein on his forehead pulsating and his voice raised. Since that day I've looked at my dad differently. He isn't the man I look up to anymore; he's the man that intimidates me. I had to stick with all that shit until two years later my mum finally wakened up from her and Jazzie's fairy tale daydreaming. They found out what dad and I spent so much time together doing. It wasn't father and son bonding it was a lethal dose of my dad using me. Mum pulled me out instantly and tried to persuade dad to stop too. She used all the persuasive skills she had but dad was standing for none of it. It was no use. That was when mum and dad drifted apart, realising how much different they really were to each other. They both believed in very different things. Mum didn't want health, she just want a safe environment for her happy family yet all dad could think about was money. It was like a disease. He was dreaming it, eating it, living it, drinking it, the whole lot. All he ever talked about was money, money, money. After that I lost touch with all dads' side of the family. I never saw Jared or Scott or Courtney ever again. All I was left with were the haunting memories of dark nights, climbing barbed wire fences and running for my life. Everything was okay for a while, me and dad got on fairly well even though I had really let him down. I got stuck in at school, passing tests with flying colours, arriving on time in the mornings. I even sustained a high level of popularity for a while. But it didn't last long. Dad and the other guys were going downhill. Since I had left their income had dropped lower than half. They needed back their secret weapon. The problem was I was now 14, taller and broader and definitely not as small as I used to be. But it wasn't easy even at that. Dad was under police surveillance, so he and the other guys couldn't meet up any more, it was too dangerous, everybody was becoming out of their depth. Everyone was ordered to stay low for a while until the police dropped their suspisions. All dad could use me for were drugs. To store drugs, hide drugs, transport drugs and sell drugs. It was a terrifying circle, back and forth, back and forth. The money that came in wasn't nearly as good as it used to be but we just had to deal with it.  
>That takes us up to this day. Dad left. Then he sent for me and now I'm standing in a basement with people that I'm pretty sure hate my guts. I was the downfall for their business. Even though they've brought themselves back up and started to carry their own weight I was still the one who put them in danger for at least a year.<p>

"Hey guys" I greet them all, desperately trying to break the ice.

There's a moment silence. I look up at dad for encouragement but his dancing eyes are away in a daydream, looking into space. I look back at the table full of family. I'm about to throw my hands up in the air. Scream I don't care anymore. I'm about to slam out the door and run away until...

All of a sudden they all jump up, some of them even knocking their chairs over.

"DOUGIE!" they all cheer and swarm towards me. They sound as if their glad to see me. Their chanting my name like I'm some sort of hero. Maybe this won't be as bad as I thought it would be. Maybe just maybe everything will be okay. And maybe my mind will be able to rest and forget all it's worries. Mum and school slowly fade into the back of my head, blending away.

Somewhere, at the back of my eye I feel a small prick. A small prick of emotion. A warning sign of a tear surfacing.

Guess who's back? Dougie's back.


	16. Suspicions Forming Like A Web

**You Can't Being Me Down**

**Chapter Sixteen **Suspicions Forming Like A Web

DOUGIE'S POV

I wake up slowly.

Last night's memories swarm back to me as I lie still, letting my body naturally wake up.

I had partied the night away. Well, not quite. Dad had kept me far away from any alcohol and presented me with a coke instead but, you can still party without a drink. Me, Courtney and Grant played pool mostly. I felt so relaxed, and at ease. Everyone was really nice to me, and no one asked me where I had been for the last year.  
>I decided to head back to bed at one in the morning, when the welcome party started to sizzle out. My head had started throbbing again, from where I had cracked it against the ground. I hadn't known where I was to sleep so went and slept on the sofa in the luxurious living room. As soon as I lay down I fell asleep instantly.<br>My eyes flicker open and the first thing I register is voices. They sound like they're coming from through a tunnel and I soon realise it's actually the TV making such a racket. I sit up and wipe away sleep groggily from my eyes. My eyes slowly adjust and I focus all my attention on the TV which seems to be switched on to the BBC news.

I stand up and draw closer as Jackie Bird drones on about flash floods down in Wales. I'm just about to leave and try to find dad when the screen changes.

I stare in horror at the TV. There displayed for the whole nation to see is my latest school photo.

Jackie Birds expression turns grave as she goes on to say,

"A fifteen year old school boy went missing on Friday 16th at 5:23PM. He was last seen crossing the road just outside his house. He's now been missing for 61 hours, the family are desperate to have him back. If you think you have seen this boy over the weekend then please contact us on..."

"No shit" I whisper, shock freezing every bone in my body.

"Dougie, wake up!"

Dougie spins around to see Courtney float in the room. She frowns at the empty sofa bed then clocks me gaping at the TV like a moron.

"Hey your awake, what's wro-" she gasps as she catches a glimpse of my school photo. Jackie Bird starts shuffling her paper then informs us she'll be back at 12 with any updates. "was that _you_?" she asks me incredulously, her face starting to pale.

I lick my dry lips and shuffle my feet.

"Yes, it was me"

"But what does that mean?" she asks in confusion, "Your dad said you turned up on his doorstep Friday night, tired and hungry? He said he had then phoned your mum to let her know you were safe, so why would anyone think you're _missing_?"

I blink at Courtney. Had my dad actually told her that? But it was lies! Every word of it was bullshit! I hadn't 'turned up' anywhere. I had been minding my own business when once again, me being a human magnet, brought trouble along. I had been _kidnapped_.  
>"<em>What<em>?! You actually believed him?" I splutter.

"Why wouldn't I? Why would he lie, what's there to hide?"

Exactly. My dad was hiding something. And it chilled me to even think of what it involved.

"Courtney, he brought me here against me own will! My mum knows nothing about it! I was out walking then all of a sudden I was dragged under a bush and knocked out. That's how I got here" I collapse on to the sofa, "What have I landed myself in now?"

I shake my head then drop it in to my hands.

"This is crazy Doug. There must have been some mistake. You should have seen your dad when he told us you were here. He was ecstatic! He missed you so much. Dougie, your dad loves you-"

I snap my head up.

"Love?" I shriek, a shiver running through my bones.

I'll agree my dad's a good actor but how has he managed to fool everyone so well? How did Friday turn into such a terrible day? I was beginning to be happy for crying out loud! Well not exactly happy, but less stressed. Dad was out my life and as far as I was concerned it was a blessing from heaven, not now though. Now it was back to my dad's demonic behaviour.

"Courtney you have no idea" my voice cracks and I turn away in embarrassment as tears start to flow down my cheeks. If dad has convinced Courtney he's a good man, then there is nothing I can do.

"Dougie?" Courtney's voice is like silk, so soft and concerned. "What's happened to you? You've changed... you seem so sad now" she sits herself down beside me and puts a comforting arm around my shoulder. "Where's the happy Dougie, I know and love?"

"Nothing's happened. It's nothing" I sniff, rubbing at my eyes violently.

Courtney rolls her eyes as I turn back to face her, "When have I heard that before?" she shakes her head causing her long dangly earrings to bob about like crazy, "Remember that time you fell of the top of the bunk beds and you hurt your hand? You said it was nothing and guess what? You had snapped a bone clean in half!"

I smile slightly at the memory. I had been laughing so much at something Grant had said that I had rolled of the bed.

"Your right, it's not nothing. It's huge. So fucking big that I don't know what to do anymore. In fact, I don't even think there can be anything done about it" I pause to take a breath and ground myself, "But Courtney I'm not dragging you into this. I'll just need to deal with this by myself" I look up into Courtney's pained eyes.

"I don't like hearing you talk like that" she says quietly, "It really tells me something's happened to you"

I stand up abruptly, "Courtney, that's life."

I pick my jacket up from the ground and slip on my shoes.

"I'm outta here, Court" I make for the hallway but Courtney follows closely behind.

"But where are you going? Your miles away from Corringham! You have no money, nowhere to sleep, nothing to eat!"

"It's better than here" I reply gruffly, before reaching the front door.

I survey the hallway carefully to make sure dad isn't around. I turn back to Courtney.

"Please don't tell him" I beg.

"But he sent me to wake you up, he'll ask questions-"

"Court" I plead my eyes wide and desperate, "Please give me half an hour to get away from here then just tell him I wasn't there, that you searched everywhere but you couldn't find me"

Courtney's bottom lip wobbles then she nods, "Okay" she whispers then flings her arms around me.

"Take care of yourself. And this time don't come back"

I nod, "I won't"

I open the door then step out into the pouring rain. I pull up my hood then run in the direction of what I hope is home. 

* * *

><p><em>Take care of yourself. And this time don't come back<em>

_And this time don't come back_

_Don't come back_

Courtney's words echo in my head, swirling around my thoughts.

I'm sat in a grubby cafe, which in any health inspectors right mind should be shut down.

There issn't anyone else in the cafe except from an old man in the corner, muttering things to himself and rocking back and forth and a fat sweaty woman behind the counter, snoring away soundly.

The rain wasn't letting up and so after twenty minutes of walking I had taken refuge in the first place I could find. Which unfortunately just so happened to be here.

I can tell I was starting to come into a town or centre of somewhere, houses were becoming seen more often and I had passed a few shops. I knew if I could just get to a bus station or train station then I might be able to end this nightmare, get back to mum and Jazzie.

I rub my hands together as a cold draft whistles through the window.

Just think Dougie, not long now until you'll be home. I tell myself in a desperate attempt to keep me sane.

It could be worse. At least I have shelter, no matter how unpleasant it is.

I sigh deeply then jump out my skin as I hear a cackle.

I whip round to see the sweaty woman lumbering towards the old telly opposite the counter. She switches it on and takes a while fiddling with the dial until a somewhat clear image of god knows what comes onto the screen.

She catches my eye and pauses.

Then nods to me, almost in acknowledgment before settling back down in her chair behind the counter. With nothing else to do, I follow suit and watch the grainy image.

I can't quite make out what it is. The football? Some lame and low budget documentary. But much to my horror I all to soon realise it's not. It's the news. I freeze in shock as Jackie Bird looks through the camera lens and at me grimly.

"This is the 12 o'clock news brought to you by Jackie Bird" she announces before repositioning herself. "A fifteen year old boy went missing on Friday the 16th at 5:23PM in Corringham Essex. We were told the boy was last seen in Brentwood. The lorry driver who witnessed the appearance informed us that the boy was limp and was being carried out of a car by a man and another teenage boy. Police officers are now searching Brentwood for him. Please, if you see this boy-" my school photo appeared by Jackie's face- "then contacts us by e-mail or call us on 01818452267"

Jackie nodded before again doing her signature shuffle of the papers and saying goodbye.

I stay completely still and try and not move a single muscle. I slowly, and oh-so-very-slowly swivel my eyes to the fat woman behind the counter. I prepare myself for her to launch herself at me but to my utter relief she's fast asleep. I let out a huge sigh before deciding what I need to do next.  
>I heave myself up of the cold hard chair and step outside. Atleast the rain's stopped. <p>

* * *

><p>For some reason terror paralyses me in front of the police station doors. I feel guilty for some unusual reason. Police stations always make me feel on edge for some bizarre reason. I take a deep breath before climbing the stone steps that lead to the entrance in slow motion.<p>

_Come on Dougie, put Mum and Jazzie out there misery._

I nod to myself before reaching out a hand to wrench open the huge big blue doors.

Except... they don't open. My jaw drops.  
><em>This cannot be happening.<br>_I've walked all day to find a nearby village, to find any blinking life and now these stupid doors won't open?! In denial, I shake them furiously. I can't believe this. In what town does a police station _close_? I thought it was twenty four hour or something like that! I sink to the concrete. What am I going to _do_? Where am I going to sleep? My stomach growls angrily. And what the hell am I going to _eat_?

I thought police were searching the area? Surely if the area could possibly be holding a missing person you would keep police stations open? I grit my teeth in frustration.

What has the world come to.

Unless... shit. Unless I've walked so far that... no...please no... unless I've walked so far that I'm not in Brentwood anymore? I look around at the derelict houses and a chill runs up my spine. Could I be walking in the wrong direction? Could I be going _further_ away from home?

I'm not exactly bad at geography but I don't have a built in compass in me either.

I haul myself up. What do I do? What direction do I walk in? There's no one about to ask directions. It seems that the police station isn't just 'closed' for the night, by the looks of it, it has been shut for decades. Just great. Typical.

I mutter to myself before deciding it only to be practical to find a place to sleep for the night.

I walk down the eerie and empty road.

I pass an alley and back track looking down it. It looks quite cosy. Something I thought I would never say. There's thousands upon thousands of black bags filled to the brim but it looks like it will _have_ to do. It can't be that bad and besides I've saw countless of homeless guys sleep down alleys before so it must be a good spot.

I carefully dodge litter before settling down in the middle of the alley. Behind a big black wheelie bin is mounds upon mounds of cardboard. I almost cry with how much luck I'm having. I create myself a little nest and nestle into it. My eyes droop and my breathing deepens. Soon I've fallen into a very deep sleep. 

**Well hello...  
>I know, you can't even look at me. That's how disgraced you are. And I don't blame you. But I tried to make it upto you with a long chapter? I know, not good enough:(<br>Please if there is ANYONE OUT THERE STILL READING THIS, please, please, please review! I know I've been terrible by not updating but your reviews make me so happy! And they usually make me update quicker (That's actually not a scam! If you know people are reading/liking it, you automatically update quicker;)**

**MUCH LOVE FROM A VERY GUILY**

**SOUL,**_** ideasfromthebraintoscreen**_


	17. A Rude Awakening

**You Can't Bring Me Down  
>Chapter Seventeen <strong>A Rude Awakening

DOUGIE'S POV

"Pssst!"

I snuggle down deeper amongst the cardboard, stirring slightly in my sleep.

"Psssssssssst!"

I let out a happy sigh and start to drift off again.

"Psssst! Pssssst! Pssssst!"

Huh? What was that? Was it a snake? Sounded like a snake hissing...

"Oh for goodness sake!"

All of a sudden a pair of hands seize my shoulders, dragging me out from beneath my nest. My eyes fly open and I start to protest wriggling about. My sleepy mind reminds me I should be making a noise, screaming, anything but my mouth doesn't seem to be working.

"Stop it, ouch! Shhhh!" the person straddles me, pinning my arms by my side. "Will you just _calm down_!"

I open my eyes slowly which I had cowardly shut when the attack had taken place. My jaw drops open.

"What on earth?..." I trail of, starting to wonder if this is a dream. Because I'm pretty sure that this is the most hilarious and unlikely situation to ever happen to me. For sitting on top of me is the old man from the cafe. The delusional one.

"Be quiet boy! They're here, there after you son!"

I sit up abruptly, knocking the man off.

"Who's here? Who's after me?" I ask frantically, looking all around the alley.

The man clamps a hand over my mouth, silencing me and sending me deathly glares. He points to the end of the valley then motions for me to follow him quietly. I don't know what overcomes me but I follow him for some strange reason. I know you shouldn't listen to strangers, let along speak to them, especially delusional ones that talk to themselves in grubby cafes but what have I got to lose? He starts crawling towards the alley opening, and throwing one last glance behind me I curiously crawl after him, wondering what on earth is going on.

As we reach the gap of light at the end he starts to veer to the right, still on his hands and knees and ducks behind a wheelie bin. I follow suit although a frown starts to play on my forehead.

"What are you _doing_?" I hiss angrily. I'm not going to play follow the leader all night long.

"Look!" he insists, peering over the lid of the bin.

I roll my eyes. This town has no sign of life in it at all. What is he going on about? I really shouldn't have followed him because he really is deluded. I grab the top of the bin and haul myself up, preparing myself to see a haystack blowing by or something else equally boring.

My mouth drops open as I look to where the man's pointing. It's my dad and Courtney standing by a long black car with blacked out windows. My breath hitches in my throat and I duck back down behind the bin, fear gripping at me. What is he doing here? What is she doing here? Have they been following me all along, is this it? Are they just going to pick me up then we'll all drive off into the sunset like a happy family. Like nothing's happened? Curiosity gets the better of me, questions circling in my head and I poke my head back up, looking over the lip of the bin. My dad's grip is so tight on her arm that the area around it is white. I can see a great big dirty bruise on her left cheek and my stomach lurches.

_This is all your fault._

I close my eyes for a second, trying to think how I can possibly fix this but my useless brain comes up with nothing. I reopen them to see Courtney slightly closer, my dad dragging her along, muttering away. Her eyes are frantic, darting about the street. She looks as if she hasn't had any sleep and her hair is a crazy mess.

"DOUGIE!" my dad shouts suddenly.

I jump out my skin and bang into the bin.

"Fuck!" I curse and duck back down.

Oh shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit!  
>He must of heard that, he must know I'm here.<p>

"I don't think he's here" Courtney speaks for the first time in a hurried and desperate tone.

"Don't be ridiculous! Didn't you hear that? There was a noise, and someone spoke... it sounded a lot like Dougie... I think the little runt's here, right under our noses..."

"I didn't hear anything..." Courtney attempts.

I look at the old man, my eyes huge with fear. I feel my body start to tremble.

The man places a hand on my shoulder and smiles at me sadly while Dad and Courtney have fallen silent, too silent for my liking. The man starts to crawl backwards, back towards the alley way, he nods in the direction then heads off. I wait until he rounds the corner then set off, only seconds behind. As I round the corner and stand up beside the old man, I see him look over my shoulder.

I look behind me and there stands dad, a huge smile plastered on his face.

He cackles almost like out of some sort of horror movie.

"Don't move a muscle Dougie" he threatens.

"Run!" orders the old man. I freeze for only a minute, captured in dad's black empty soulless eyes before I realise the monster that he's become.

I spin on the spot and thunder away.  
>It's funny how fast you can run when you really need to...<p>

JAZZIE'S POV

_Dingdong.  
><em>I jump of the sofa and run to the front door. I unlock it with shaking hands before swinging it open.

"Hey" Louise greets me.

I bite my lip to stop the flow of tears then throw a smile on, trying to cover up the heart-aching disappointment.

"Oh hey Louise, come on in" I motion for her to step in before slowly closing the door, scanning the street before doing so.

I walk through to the living room with her and sit down on the arm chair. Louise sits down on the sofa and wrings her hands nervously. She looks terrible to be honest. Her skin is eerily pale and she looks way to skinny. So far she's been here every day since Dougie's disappearance, five days ago. And like today, everyday she rings the doorbell, and everyday some hope rises inside of me, and everyday I think it's _him_. Of course it's not though, it's just Louise dropping by for any news of _him_.

I sink back into my seat, or rather Dougie's seat. He always takes this arm chair, and although there's no sign on it, it has Dougie written all over it.

"So how have you been keeping?" Louise asks me earnestly, a look of true concern etched on her features. I smile at her. She's become a good friend, she's just so thoughtful and caring. I knew Dougie had gone out with her a few times but the fact she had been so dedicated by coming by everyday made her seem like some sort of saint. It hurt possibly even more if anything though. It made me want Dougie back _so_ much harder. If he saw Louise like this I knew it would make his heart melt.

"I'm good thanks. It's difficult, being stuck in most days... I guess I should really go to school but I'm so scared I'll miss out on something, the police could call at any minute" I confess to her, sighing deeply.

"I know what you mean, I'm the same, I think my gran's given up with me. She tried the first few days to make me go to school but in the end she stopped asking"

I nod.

The room falls silent, the kitchen clock filling the room with a soft ticking.

"Have you heard any news yet?" she whispers. I look up from my lap and find her eyes. She looks so young and exhausted. I wish I could tell her yes. I wish I could tell her Dougie was on his way home now but instead I have to shake my head shamefully and watch her hopeful face fall.

"You'd be the first to know, if there was any" I tell her truthfully.

She smiles at me but it doesn't quite reach her eyes, "Thank you" she whispers, then leans back in to her cushion.

"Do you want anything to eat or drink? I'm just about to make myself some tea and toast" I ask as I struggle from the depth of the arm chair and head for the kitchen.

"Actually now you mention it... Yes please. I didn't realise how hungry I was..." she trails off, looking completely and utterly shattered.

"Time has been flying by lately" I agree before opening the kitchen door and heading through.

I grab two mugs from the cupboard then fill the kettle up before clicking it on.

"Brown or white bread?" I call through to Louise.

"Brown please!" she shouts back.

I take the brown loaf then pop some slices in the toaster before dropping two tea bags in each of the cups.

I take a deep breath then relax into the counter top.

_Just imagine it's you and Dougie. He's made some sexist joke ordering you to make him a snack. Your pretending to be angry but really your grinning away, like always. Mostly because your happy to see him so happy but also because his jokes are actually quite funny. Just a little bit though. You take through the tea and then he acts like something's wrong with it then makes a big fuss but really we both know it's a laugh and-_

'_DINGDONG'_

I jump out my skin.

What was that? Then I come to my senses. The door! And Louise is in the living room so that means it could be...

I lunge for the door, Louise close behind me. We catch each other's stricken faces before hauling it open.

I blink. Three people, or teenagers I should say about Dougie's age stand before me and Louise looking a little lost and baffled.

"Uhm, hi, can I help?" I ask stuttering. Not knowing whether to cry with disappointment or blush at the three good looking boys staring at me.

"Is this where Dougie Poynter lives?" the boy standing slightly in front of the others ask. I quickly take in his freckles that decorate his face, and his tight curls, lying perfectly on his head.

"Yes it is but I'm afraid he's not in" I feel my stomach drop. Do these guys know about him? Should I tell them?

"Uh, yeah we know, we saw on the news-" he clears his throat, clearly stuck for words and sensitive to our feelings, "We just wanted his family to know we're here to support them"

I blink a couple of times before digesting his words, "Oh well in that case, thank you. I'm his sister Jazzie and this-" I point to a confused looking Louise, "is Louise his girlfriend"

I watch as Louise's cheeks take to a delicate shade of pink.

Everyone shakes hands before I invite them in.

"I've just boiled the kettle, do any of you fancy a tea? Coffee?" I ask politely, hovering in the doorway.

"Tea, please" they all murmur together. I click the TV on for them all, for something to keep them occupied before taking to the kitchen.

I soon bring through all the drinks and snacks before settling down and getting straight to the bear facts.

"So how do you know Dougie?" I ask, trying to keep my tone polite even though curiosity is making me impatient.

"We're his band mates" the blonde one replies, with a small smile showing of a rather cute dimple.

"Band mates?..." I frown. Then just like a light bulb, or more like a ton of bricks, it hits me, "Of course! Danny, Tom and Harry, right?"

They all nod, looking slightly pleased to be known, "Yeah that's us!"

"Which is which?" Louise asks, leaning forward.

The dimpled blonde goes along the line, "This is Danny-" he refers to the freckled, curly haired boy, "I'm Tom-" he gestures to himself, "And this is Harry" he points to the boy sitting further away. He has a mullet styled hairdo and drum sticks poking out of his front pocket. He hasn't said a word the whole time he's been here. Actually, you could even say he looked sad. Although that would be a bit hard to believe. Dougie had only met up with the boys once or twice, had he really left such an impact on them?

I was just about to open my mouth when the phone starts to ring shrilly, cutting the conversation short.

"Sorry, I better get that" I excuse myself, before walking out into the hall way. I shut the living room door behind me and pick up the receiver. It would probably be mum, saying she wouldn't be able to make it home for dinner or something like that. That had been the case the last few times. I didn't blame her though, she was doing a great job helping the police. She was down at the police station just now, giving out even more details trying to help them and track Dougie down.

"Hello?"

"Jazzie, it's me, mum!" her voice sounds an octave to high.

"What's wrong?" I ask immediately, feeling a shiver run through my bones.

"It's Dougie!" she shrieks, I close my eyes anticipating the worst, "There's just been a call from a man, he says he's found Dougie!"

My jaw drops and I gape like a fish. The phone slips from my hands and thwacks the carpeted floor.

"Jazzie? Everything alright?" I hear Danny ask me.

I blink out my daze and sigh happily as the biggest smile breaks out on my face.

"It can't get any better!" I squeal excitedly.

There's a rushed movement of limbs before the four appear in the living room door way.

"What's happened?"

"He's been found! Doug's on his way home!"

And just like that there's a outbreak of cheers and squeals.


	18. When You Start Talking, I Start Walking

**kkkkYou Can't Bring Me Down**

**Chapter Eighteen**

_THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND REVIEWS. THEY MAKE ME SMILE SO MUCH!_

_I would never have gotten to chapter eighteen without you all!  
><em>**This is just a little message to iheartmcflyx. I miss our pm's and I hate not being able to reply to your lovely and heart warming reviews**** now missus, you better get thinking about what the hell your password is or how the hell you're going to get into your account because I'll admit it, I miss you, ya poo.**

So, this chapter is dedicated to Eve (iheartmcflyx), for all her support and belief in me (how cheesy!)

DOUGIE'S POV

"Just up this hill!" the old man puffs, his frail legs shaking as we both hike up the small mountain.

I have never ran so much in my life, I feel as if I'm going to pass out. Sweat is dripping off me, gathering along my hairline and I swear it is not healthy to have your heart beating this fast.

As we near the top of the hill, I risk a glance backwards, to see if dads catching up with us. I crane my neck around and find him on our tail.

"Dougie!" he snarls, quickening his pace. I panic as I see the space between us close quickly. I turn back around but lose my balance, crossing one leg over the other. My ankle twists and I crash to the ground in a flail of arms.

The old man doesn't stop he seems determined, like something's going to happen.

A shadow falls over me and I look up to see dads menacing face bearing down on me. He swoops down and grips my arm tightly, hauling me up.

I yelp, the weight of me standing putting pressure on my injured ankle. Dad's grip tightens even more as I make to escape.

"I'm not letting you go!" he hisses tugging at me, and dragging me back down the hill.

Tears start to stream down my face as I realise how close I was to escaping. Why is it I'm so clumsy? I was so damn close!  
>"Dad please!" I plead in between sobs.<p>

He whirls me around aggressively so we come face to face, "Dougie! Don't you get it? You'll never be able to outrun this. Don't try and pretend we're not your family, your mine and I'm not letting you go, I'm your dad for Christ sakes!"

"Dad's don't put their children through so much!"

He grits his teeth, as if he's contemplating something. His hand twitches but somehow he keeps it by his side, nowhere near my face.

He starts to frog-march me back towards his sleek car but a bellowing voice stops us.

"STOP RIGHT THERE!"

We both stop, stunned and slowly turn around. My mouth drops open as three police officers make their way towards us. Dad drops my arm and slowly backtracks, his face paling.

I stumble forward, a police woman catching me.

"Don't worry your safe now" she whispers, holding me close.

"I asked you to stop sir" The police officer in the middle commands, his eyes glued to dads.

Dad takes another ginger step back.

Within a flash the officer has whipped out a small hand held gun. Black, shiny and deadly.

I shriek and jump from the woman's arms, to run in front of the gun-holder.

"Please don't shoot him!" I beg, my legs trembling.

"Son, if you could please step to the side for me" the other, silent until now, police man asks kindly.

I shake my head vigorously.

"Don't shoot him!" I repeat, feeling desperate.

The woman comes up from behind, gently leading me away.

"I think it's best we head for the car?" she talks to me, her voice soft.

I nod while craning around to see the two police men now sitting on top of dad reading out the Miranda rights.

I let out a sigh, relaxing as the click of his handcuffs echo around me assuring me that he can't come and hurt me ever again.

-  
>The doctor reappears, looking happy.<p>

"It seems your all good to go! Your head took quite a knock but the scans show there isn't any serious damage. There's nothing we can do but let it heal naturally. It'll probably be sensitive, and if you experience any headaches then I recommend ibuprofen and a lie down. Although if you do experience any dizziness, blurry eyesight or are violently sick then I urge you to come back for a check up. Sometimes things don't show up until a week or two after." She smiles at me, looks down at her papers, then back up into my face, "Well that's pretty much everything! Do take care though, Dougie. Your medical records aren't exactly the healthiest and let me be honest, I don't know how much more that body of yours can take" she smiles sadly.

"The police will be through in a minute" she informs me, then with one last smile exits the room.

I don't have to wait long until the police woman from earlier enters.

"hey Dougie" she greets me friendlily. She sits herself down beside me and we sit there in a comfortable silence for what feels like hours. "How are you feeling?" she asks, and I can tell she doesn't mean physically but _mentally_. What am I _really_ feeling?

I bite my lip, and think for awhile.

"I'm feeling like I'm never going to get over this. I feel so scared too. I feel guilty for lying to mum. I feel guilty for the pain and stress and horror I've put Jazzie and mum through this past week. I feel tired, so earth shatteringly tired, my bones feel tired, my skin feels tired, my eyes feel tired, my hair feels tired, everything feels tired. I feel lost, like I don't belong anywhere, or I've lost my right to belong in the Poynter family. I feel stupid for ever trusting dad, for doing all his stupid jobs, for him leading me about and for me acting like some little push over! I feel embarrassed for all the uproar this has caused, embarrassed for being on the news. I feel... I just feel..." I drift of, out of breath.

The woman smiles at me and puts a comforting arm around my shoulders.

"Dougie you are so brave. Any other person that could have gone through this would have been a shambling mess. But you? No, your worries are about your mum and Jazzie. Your worries are about what people will think, have thought about you during this. For me, that shows real bravery, and I don't think you'll need to worry about getting over any of this because you know what? Sounds to me as if your nearly there."

I let her words sink in. Brave? Me?

"Wow... thanks..." I breath.

"You don't need to thank me" she laughs, "Now you have two options. You can either get some sleep and wait until tomorrow or you can go see everybody just now."

"Everybody?"

"Your mum, Jazzie, Louise..." I jump up, the woman looks startled for a moment before breaking into a grin, "So I guess that's option two?"

I nod frantically.

"Right well, I only have one more thing to ask of you and then you can go see them." I wait patiently for her to continue, "Have a shower, you'll give your mum a heart attack if she sees you so dusty and dirty. And then change into these, " from behind her back she brandishes, jeans, a t-shirt, socks, boxers, a jumper and plimsolls all lying on top of each other on the palm of her hand.

I look down at my dusty, dirty, smelly clothes, covered in debris and other disgusting things that you wouldn't want to look to closely at.

I shrug, "Seems like a fair deal" and with that I take the clothes from her hands and let her lead me to the showers.

I turn the tap on and let the scorching hot water cascade over me. I stand there, unmoving for ten minutes, my eyes closed and mind blank. After awhile I remember the purpose of the shower in the first place and grab the shower gel from the metal rack and squirt a puddle into the palm of my hand. I wash myself down then massage shampoo into my hair. Again I stand still, letting the water to wash out the excess shampoo.

There's a knock at the door.

"Dougie, are you okay in there?"

I snap out my daze and clear my throat, "I'm fine!" I call back, turning off the shower and pulling back the curtain. I step on to a towel and start to dry myself.

"Okay, if you need anything just call!"

I roll my eyes at the amount of special treatment I'm receiving, "I'm fine!" I repeat before putting on the clothes I was given. I brush through my hair, brush my teeth then take a deep breath, looking at myself in the mirror above the sink.

I smile slightly, and seeing the reflected smile shining back at me helps.

I hang up the towels, walk to the door then turn the lock. I tug it open to find the police woman jump up from her seat nervously.

"Everything okay?" she asks for what must be the hundred and twelfth time today.

I sigh, but keep my voice light as not to offend her, "I'm fine and would tell you differently if I was anything but!"

She smiles then looks along the corridor to the door at the bottom.

"Your family are waiting for you" she tells me quietly.

I nod but don't move.

"Do you want to go and see them?..." she asks, eyeing me thoughtfully.

I nod again but still don't move my feet.

The police woman takes a step towards the door. And another, and another. I start to follow slowly before we're standing just before it. She reaches for the door handle, her hands closing in on it, her fingers millimetres away before...

"Wait!" I call swatting her arm away from the door.

"Yes?"

I flick my fringe to the side, "Okay now go"

She raises a eyebrow before opening the door...

**Not my best of piece of work, I can see that and it was a bit of a unnecessary cliff hanger but I just wanted to get something up! xoxo**


	19. Home Is Where The Heart Is

**You Can't Bring Me Down**

**Chapter Nineteen  
><strong>

**I've came along way! Writing terms and the maturity of my ideas! One thing that I don't think I'll ever be able to manage though is time management and updating frequently! I've loved writing this story and sad it's coming to an end but you never know, knowing me I'll probably start to miss it and write a sequel! So please look out for that! When I first started writing this fanfic in my mind I wanted almost a 'true' story of Dougie growing up and then getting in the band but as I started to write I realised my imagination was too bursting to stay nonfiction and factual so I started to go down a different path, and just make things up because for anyone who's read 'Unsaid Things', you'll all know fine Dougie's dad wasn't a criminal (I don't even know how I got onto that:L!) and didn't abuse Dougie. Although he wasn't very nice or encouraging either. So I'm sorry for those who maybe wanted more McFly (Tom, Danny and Harry) but if I were to do a sequel it would be about the band and them starting out. Thank you for all your amazing support and inspiring, encouraging reviews! I could probably easily carry on this fanfic but the storylines drawing out and becoming repetitive which tells me it's time to say goodbye to You Can't Bring Me Down. Now I can focus on my other fanfics plus I have another one on the way!  
>P.S. sorry for the bible xoxo<strong>

_Home Is Where The Heart Is  
>Dougie's POV<em>

I walked out into the family waiting room.

At one side of the room sat Louise, mum and Jazzie and on the other side awkwardly stood Tom, Danny and Harry.

"Dougie!" Harry exclaimed, quickly closing the small space between us. Danny and Tom followed and enveloped me into a huge hug.

"Thank god your alright Dougie!" Tom breathed quietly, so only me and the boys could hear him.

"I know, imagine us having to go through the whole process of auditioning for a bass player _again_" Danny sighed exasperated, shaking his head.

We all stopped and looked at Danny.

"What?" he asked innocently.

Harry raised his hand and slapped it across the back of Danny's head.

"Ow!" he yelped, "What was that for!"

I laughed, rolling my eyes, thankful for Danny's stupidity and the way it lightened the mood.

Mum stood up suddenly, looking pointedly at us. The boys looked at one another then decided to leave and give us some space.

"We'll see you later Doug's" Tom said with a nod then led a waving Danny and Harry away.

I turned and faced mum.

"Mum..." my voice broke as I saw the dark circles under her eyes.

"Dougie!" she flung her arms around me, crushing me as she held me close to her body. She took a deep breath in, and if possible brought me even closer to her. It felt like it had been years since I had saw her, smelt her. And it was in this moment, as my mum held me so tight I was finding it hard to breathe that I knew for definite she was everything and I could not live happily without her.

"I thought you were dead!" she sobbed, clinging at my back, her sobs came from so deep, echoing through to my body too. I stroked her back, snuggling my nose into the crook of her neck.

"I wouldn't have left with a goodbye" I reassured her, as her tears started to fall more rapidly.

Jazzie stood up, joining in on our hug and burrowing her head between me and mum.

I'm surprised to find my cheeks wet and embarrassingly wipe away my tears. Although I soon realise it's okay to cry as they are not tears of sadness but yet happiness to finally reunite with my family. My real family, the family that never in a million years would hurt me.

I feel so safe with their arms wrapped around me but there's still one thing bugging me.

I drew away from the hug, sniffling, "Where's dad?" I asked dreading mum's reaction or answer. Mum and Jazzie broke away too. I looked down into their tear stained faces, Jazzie's makeup smeared and ruined. Mum's eyes softened and she relaxed, placing her hand on my back.

"Sweetie he's in jail" she stroked my face, tucking a strand of my fringe behind my ear, "He'll be there until the court case and then he'll be locked away for good, never back to hurt my baby boy"

I nod, relieved to hear the news.

She kissed me lightly on the forehead.

Jazzie wrapped her arms around my waist tightly.

Then I heard a cough. I looked up surprised.

A beautiful girl sat on the chair in front of me, a shy smile playing on her lips and a blush crawling up her neck and over her cheeks.

Mum patted me gently on my back and Jazzie unwound her arms from my waist.

"I need to pee" mum excused herself, smiling happily. A true happy smile, something I hadn't seen in a while.

"Me too" Jazzie smirked and left with mum.

The door slowly closed after them, the creak of the hinges filling the silence until the door finally shut with a dull thud. I rose my gaze from the ground to Louise, feeling my own cheeks burning up to match hers.

"Hey" I greeted her whilst plonking my bum beside her.

Jazzie chuckled, "Hi there" she replied. She took a deep breath.

"I've missed you so much!" she rushed out in one breath, looking at me shyly.

I grin, "I've really missed you too" I whisper then pick her hand up in mine, intertwining our fingers.

Her eyes met with mine.

"I'm so sorry Dougie" she said to me, her voice full of so emotion.

I stroked her cheek, "Sorry for what?" I asked confused.

"Sorry for what you've been through. It must have been awful" she explained.

"Yeah, it wasn't exactly a holiday but I'll be fine, I'll work through it" I told her earnestly meaning ever word.

"I know you will"

She leant in and I swooped down to lock her lips with mine. My hands wrapped round her, and her hands slowly crawled into my hair. I silently thanked the female police officer earlier for making me take a shower. I deepened the kiss bringing her closer to me and cupping her chin in the palm of my hand. Everything else melted away and it was only me and Louise in the room, locked in this passionate kiss. I gave one last ounce of my love then broke away from her.

Maybe just maybe there was hope for Dougie Poynter to be fixed.


End file.
